»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #13
»
Little Independent
| Open Poetry #13 |
|
Little Independent |
|
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas 
|
Take a twirl on the Merry- Go-Round, place to place see your life circle past young hands gripping the bars, a steady thing holding you in place. Closing your eyes shields you from false truths and dizzies with centriphical force flattening you to the cold iron. Four years four months four days four expendables all represent who you are in the corner, Me Myself and I, no home no ties no reason to hold on to what you once thought meant happiness. Pick a playground pick a life different from the one you know. You'll keep going around letting memories pass you, sweaty hands holding on to dirty metal insecurities, trying to find the perfect place to stop the ride. What happens, Little Independent, when you lose your grip and end up all alone in the dirt? "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very good poem. Quite sad though.....i liked it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Geez Hon this is sad.  Very well written, good use of imagery.  Everything ok? <*\\\>< |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Ohh..This does seem sad, but is also very thoughtful. I think that once the independent falls on his/her face, in the dirt and alone, then they will finzlly realize they do need someone there to help them up and keep them from falling again. Sometimes thats the only way we learn. *sigh* There were some interesting images and thoughts in this. It kept me there and kept me thinking. I like it. still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
you get up. . . dust yourself off. . . and try again. . . and when help comes, you take it. . . excellent. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Good to see you again Sax o yuh |
||
|
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thanks all, I was a little worried that no one would be able to figure this out, but looks like that wasn't a vallid concern. Nice to see you too, Walt  "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone |
||
|
desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
this is a nice piece hun. imagery is pretty solid. the rhythm is nice, not too fast and not too slow. it keeps the reader from being thrown off, so to speak. mood is a little down, but then again so was your weekend so I guess a little foreshadowing never killed anyone (except for Elvis, but then again, he's not dead. he just went home.) People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
