Dark Poetry #3 |
Time's Pendulum |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
in the shadows of the darkness of retreat the art of being "not quite there" invisibility in the nothing brings eternal ring of light exemplified by dark a lark of pure invisibility There is something sometimes moves within shadows of your mind Darkness be your only prove a chokehold keeping beat to time again again the pendulum keeping beat to chokehold time... the clock strikes midnight once again? What voice of mine should mock, "tick-tock" when harmony of choice asks "when?" [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 05-21-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Nice rhythms here hon...nice use of internal rhyme and word play... 'There is something in the nothing brings eternal ring of light exemplified by dark a lark of pure invisibility' great! one thing sticks out a bit though: 'Darkness be your only prove a chokehold' dinna like the prove thing..lol.. otherwise - great pen my friend.. hugs K All obscurity starts with a danger: |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
This is very good serenity!! I love it,it's kind of smooth and it seems like it could be written never to have an end.Just one long never-ending strand of words,now i think it's too short lol,i could have read it for days,it has that quality of an infinate story. Very like time itself....great work sammi much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
K...ah hah hah...so ya dinna like my "prove"--well do ya think ya could help me out a bit more THAN THAT????? How about a substitute suggested? Something a little more constructive than "I dinna like it?" and you've got me a laughing through a toothache now...ow...I dinna like it...but thanks...yer lucky yer cute! And hey...I learned how to center...doesn't that count for something? and the whole durn thing is SUPPOSED to be a pendulum...sigh sigh sigh sammi...good to see you, I haven't been hanging out in Dark much lately--will have to hang around more if only to annoy K! Thanks for reading, I appreciate it much! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
clocks are always so annoying when times are hard, the ticking noise is like salt on open wounds...ok i am ranting here, so i will be button up and say powerful reading. Hope that sweet bird songs soon replace the tick tock. "across the unfair divide |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
OH BAH HUMBUG KAREN. rotf All right - will think about...literally soon to be running out of door at present...but I will be back and that IS a threat so there K |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
i see pendulum!! Yay,this is a great acheivment for someone who could never get those magic eye things,lol. But really now that you mention it serenity it does look like and ornate grandfather clock pendulum. too cool much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson |
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poni Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 21Nebraska |
excellent poem! ... and saw the pendulum swinging as well |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Now I told you over a year ago I'd be back..didn't I? HAH - and here I am sunshine! LOOK OUT... Just re-reading, and re-liking.. love ya K |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This is way cool.. and I see the pendulum. Thanks for bringing this one back up Kamla. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Someone holds a chalice that she either does or does not know...Haven't figured it out yet.. Most interesting. If it elicits more than one response from Severn, then it is a great piece. Kinda a "Night Speaks The Songbird" piece, but more fluent and interesting. A great poem! [This message has been edited by Purity (06-02-2002 04:16 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*chortling with K!* I'd forgotten about this one! Yer a nut! I wuv woo! Enhantress, I thank you kindly ma'am...yer always so generous! Purity? I raise my chalice to ye! Blessed be. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I really enjoyed this Luscious One.... and it looks like a pendulum too Well Done! hugs |
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blakloks Member
since 2002-06-01
Posts 60 |
hey cool this looks like a pendulum and great flow of words also |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Like this one lots, Karen. Sandra |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
You have written the lyrics to "an ode with metronome". Reads quite nicely |
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