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Dark Poetry #3

If You Could See Me

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

0 posted 2001-05-07 05:06 PM

Lie down
on the cold steel
of my life and
bleed unhappiness
from way down deep
Tears are acid rain
upon my face,
burning ugly images
into my forever...
Don't judge me,
or offer me hope
with some obscure
message that barely
touches the surface
of my agony...
for once,
just hold me,
& honestly see who I am...

~Tier{R.T.}

DJLI
Member

since 2000-06-21

Posts 237
TN, USA

1 posted 2001-05-07 05:57 PM

There is alot of feelings behind this, and I think you wrote it beautifully.

P.L.U.R.

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

2 posted 2001-05-07 08:09 PM

Tiers,
I absolutely love this poem.
Short, precise and meaningful lines, and a very powerful message bearing nothing but truth.
Thanks.

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

3 posted 2001-05-07 09:10 PM

If everyone could see..
maybe you have created the
answer to world peace.
the hurt that you wrote
falls hard
only to be lifted up
with the chance of understanding..

~*Freedom Is Not Free*~ (Korean War Memorial)

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

4 posted 2001-05-07 11:43 PM

Tiersdin, I really think this is a great poem, short but so overwhelming at the same time.

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