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Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2001-04-21 11:35 AM

In dark insurgent
Water I wade
With heavy load
On back and mind
Love won and lost
Won and lost
With heavy load
Wake and Waters
Flowing and trawling
My heavy load
Love won and lost
Such pretty hair
Colored with muck
I pull my load
My heavy load
Love won and lost
My love I lost
Her pretty hair
In hoary fist
I drag my load
Through turgid waters
Her body wake
Ploughs turgid waters
Love won and lost
My love with me
My swamp princess
In my castle of peat
Love won and lost

Alicat

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2001-04-21 11:38 AM

Now this is scary! Reminds me of the movie with Harrison Ford and the girl that drown in the lake...geesh!!!!

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

2 posted 2001-04-21 12:15 PM

Veeery dark, Alicat.
Good job.

[This message has been edited by coyote (edited 04-21-2001).]

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

3 posted 2001-04-21 02:07 PM

Hiya, Kitten. I like the way the images progressed in this. Excellent work, and its nice to see something from you.

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-21 02:13 PM

i love the repetition of "love won and lost"... this one takes the reader on quite a trip through the mud and marsh....

really cool..... great rhythm/flow to it... it's sticky... you get stuck in the images...

i LIKED!

thanks for the read

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)

5 posted 2001-04-21 06:22 PM

mmmmm,how very dark. I love it,heehee. An interesting interesting read,a fascinating story,impecable verse,what more could you ask? great read!!

swamp

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

a-alibaster
Member

since 2000-01-08

Posts 392

6 posted 2001-04-21 06:29 PM

A great read indeed...Wonderful from start to finish!
Until...ali

"There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul..."
a-alibaster

"I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less,
I am tears of pain, tears of Death.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

7 posted 2001-04-22 03:06 AM

Wonderful Ali!
Very dark indeed...interesting format - the short lines..in some ways I think it could be developed more, just drawn out a little longer...I love the turgid waters repetition..

K

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