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Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-02 06:00 PM

Can you hear me
or must I show you?

I talk,
but you do not listen.
I am out of control,
but this mask I wear as it glistens.

"Everything is okay,
it's fine!"
I tell you this
as I am dying inside.

Can it be this easy?
Are you this much of a fool?
Not to see me destroying my body
and cry enough tears to fill a pool.

Or maybe I have mastered
this art of mask wearing
to the point you do not see
for I wear with out sharing.

I do not know the answer
and instead of fight
I throw in the white flag
and surrender all my might.

I sleep the day away
hoping to wake up from this nightmare.
But in the morning it's still the same
and another day I must bare.

My eyes they hurt
from the tears that I cry.
My toes are numb
and I am not sure just why.

It's all my fault,
I know this for sure,
It's all my fault
for believing all your harsh words.

Who would have thought
your words would stay
close by me forever
and ever to stay?

Why can't I love me
for who I really am?
If only I could see
exactly where I stand.

"It won't happen to me."
I shrug your comment off with assurance.
For there is nothing wrong with me
I'm just carrying around a few burdens.

As these lies
fill my head I wonder,
will I ever see the reality
of what I am living under?

What will it take
for me to finally see
my problem is serious,
"but it's not as bad as it could be."

There I go again
finding excuses for these lies.
Is there really another way
or will I have to die?

So I go through each day
with all of these things and more.
Maybe one day I will portray
all of this pain that I bore.

I scream, I scream loud.
Why can't you hear me?
Does it even matter?
For you will never see.

You will never hear my tears
hit my pillow at night.
Or see all of the fears
that I am trying to fight.

Can you even hear me
or must I show you?
Are you listening?
My heart breaks too!

I search for all the answers,
but I find none.
So show you I will
and maybe one day I will get one.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

1 posted 2001-04-03 09:19 AM

Fading Away,
this is a very self revealing verse, if it's true you need some help.
=================================================================
As these lies
fill my head I wonder,
will I ever see the reality
of what I am living under?
=================================================================
Powerful poem
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.

dragonpoe
Senior Member

since 2000-11-12

Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida

2 posted 2001-04-03 11:16 AM

another deeply emotional piece. I hope you have the courage to find the healing that you need, as I am reading this as coming from a heart, bruised and aching. Keep writing, but keep searching for help and strength.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-04-04 08:43 AM

The emotion of this piece is truly beautiful and it's good that you can get those feelings to flow so well in your writing. Just don't forget that you DO have people in your life who love you sweetie.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

4 posted 2001-04-04 08:20 PM

I agree with Kethry hon. Also, nothing anyone has done to you should cause you to hurt yourself physically (in any sense). You must believe in yourself hon, if you don't no one else will...
For someone to write this well, etc, you are certainly not the hopeless wreck you paint yourself to be...
If you need to talk please email me ok?
*hugs*
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

Adamly
Junior Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 11
Canada

5 posted 2001-04-05 01:24 AM

Fading Away:

I could feel the hurt inside and for that I am sorry. I wish only that you can work through this and stand tall on your feet again.

In life things come and go. Live and die. Prosper and fall. But our love and poetry will always carry on.

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

6 posted 2001-04-05 09:38 PM

"I sleep the day away
hoping to wake up from this nightmare.
But in the morning it's still the same
and another day I must bare."

This is part of a "classic depression" behavior pattern.
I don't know the specifics of your problem, hon.
(I suspect anorexia or something therof, from your username?)
There are people in your area who care.
You need to find them somhow, and begin the healing process.
Uncle Coyote

"I hate quotes, they suck!"
I.G. Norance

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