Dark Poetry #3 |
5 senses |
AWood0813 Junior Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 21 |
The five senses determine all: To see her: Walking arms wide open To hear her: Laughter in your ears To smell her: Shampoo when she flings her hair To feel her: As her hand slids into yours To taste her: Kiss before she's given it To see her: Dirty brown eyes looking into yours To hear her: Quietly whisper "Hold me" in the dead of night To smell her: Body as she slowly settles next to you To feel her: Silkky smooth body by yours To taste her: Soft sweet kiss given freely To see her: Walking away back turned To hear her: Voice in your dreams To smell her: Even when she's not around To feel her: Hand slip away, finger by finger To taste her: Once and never again To Know Her To Want Her To Lose Her Awood0813 "Sad and confused" |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sometimes we have to let go of someone to assure their happiness and also ours...if they don't want to be with us they will make our lives miserable...they will be unhappy and we will be unhappy...James |
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Jellybean King Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153Jelly, Bean |
I love how the first two stanzas describe the 5 senses in material concrete ways...giving rise to an implied 6th sense in the last two...hearing (in dreams)...tasting (she's not there). I think that is how it goes between lovers...that's why it's so hard to let go. Thanks for sharing this enjoyable read! Jellybean King |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Wood~ Coming from a friend whose been in your shoes for quite a long time now. Although this poem is awesome and a wonderful way to describe the feeling of a loved one. Unless you want to drive yourself insane you need to separate yourself from her. It sucks to see you hurting so bad. Don't let her steal your fire Aaron. Don't do it. Signed~your friend Concerned |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This was a very sensual write, in every sense of the word. And the ending heatbreak was visible and real. *HuGS* Write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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