Dark Poetry #3 |
The Acquaintance |
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
The Acquaintance The secret races as a pulse beats within, sustaining him. He revels in its power, which begins as a pinpoint with his victim, then spreads outward to capture family, community, media. Five months have passed - still no suspects. The morning paper read, "the weeks the child's body spent in the river left her unrecognizable and erased most of the physical evidence pertaining to cause of death." If it weren't for DNA testing, they might have never identified her. Cuts on his hands have healed (her nails tore off when she dug in), rain has washed footprints (but not her screams) away, and grass imprints where she struggled and died, have vanished. He’s sure of himself - he returns to the scene often, but the excitement is waning. Meanwhile, he runs errands, shops, works, just like you and me - he blends in; his own family utterly unaware of his true self. In the dusty, dark attic behind a false stucco wall, are his beloved tools and souvenirs. Soon, soon it will be time to climb that ladder again. © 2001 Corinne Bailey |
||
© Copyright 2001 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
With DNA we now have one more method of identifying those that have no respect for life...however in OJ Simpsons case he walked despite the DNA...this is not a perfect world...James |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ouch Corinne...ouch ouch.. good to read you in here though - no matter how harsh the topic... fine writing hon what inspired you to write this? K |
||
Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
This is a good piece. I liked your form and structure. |
||
dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
How powerful and sad! Murder Is heinous in all degrees, but I think anyone who can murder a helpless, innocent child should be skinned, tarred, then burned slowly. You wrote this wonderfully, with imagery, feeling and superb craft. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. |
||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Corinne, cleverly crafted but scary scenario. Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
||
svandersaar Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 40 |
This is excellently crafted! Detached and simple, it forces one to register the crime on the scale of reality instead of trapping the reader with dramatics. Great job, Corinne! Stacey |
||
mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
I agree, it is very well written. Actually, I have read this one several times but not replied. It is a very difficult subject to comment on. Very difficult to read. And very difficult to write about. You have done an excellent job. [This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 04-09-2001).] |
||
Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
oh this is awful!! You've deffinately made it effective,i am totally disgusted. Great peice of writing...great and terrible all at once. sammi much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very nice piece.. I LOVED the format. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |