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Dark Poetry #3
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Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2003-08-25 09:34 PM

Plastic People
Live next door
They are your friends
That you assume you know
Thet speak with plastic lips
And lie with plastic tounges
Their plastic mask
Covers their plastic face
That we shall never see
A plastic brain
In a plastic skull
Is put to use only to cunjugate themselves
Dont worry thought
Their plastic is sure to soon decay
And all the plastic people will fade
Leaving only their plastic bodies
To pollute our earth
As they did before they left

© Copyright 2003 Amanda Seymour - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

1 posted 2003-08-25 09:50 PM

This really good, God, I enjoyed this. This goes back, but never seems to go out of style. Nice job.


If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-08-25 10:16 PM

Amanda, yes well I have just done a bit of "recycling" myself LOL
nice write

Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-08-25 10:39 PM

Wow does this ever take me back. When I was 16 I told my mother all these people were plastic people, and I will never forget the look on her face. She looked at me in surprise and said yeah you are right. Kind of monumental for her, and I. Thanks for bringing back the memories.

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
4 posted 2003-08-25 10:46 PM

OH wow, this poem is amazing.  The plastic people.  I don't know how many times I have felt like all these people around me were just plastic, carbon copies of eachother.  Wonderful write.
Junior Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 28
IN, the U.S. of A.
5 posted 2003-08-25 11:08 PM

Yes, very interesting write.  Even though the subject matter was trite, it still kept my attention.  Kudos for you!
The trick about writing trite subjects and cliches is to write it in a new way.  The fact that you made the word "plastic" repetitive made it sound more interesting and meaningful.  Next, if I were you, I'd play around with the imagery and texture.  Try to describe how the plastic sounds (call it a plastic sound?) or how it feels (maybe go off-subject a bit and say wax?) and how little movement actual plastic figures have, which allows you to show how constructed the plastic people are.  These are just a few suggestions because you really have some potential in the way you write!

-I don't need a signature-

Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2004-07-05 02:39 AM

thankx everyone for your lovely comments
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