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Whole Holes (repost)
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Whole Holes (repost) |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state 
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Whole birth places marked above grassy turfs, whole cemeteries hidden from village serfs, whole coffins open to the spirits that escape unholy crimes those spirits cause, we investigate. The whole of my life is marked by holes on my person, from the hole in the bottom sole, to the top of the my closely shaven head walking this gauntlet, with the walking dead. The holes in my socks are for my bare feet to show gaping holes in my pants, for in my body goes, whole lives filled with dough holes surrounded look at the bagel and donut shapes, confounded! Holy treasures hidden within sunken monuments holy books written on the trails prophets were sent; whole lives filled with dough holes confounded unholy crimes in this world unsurmounted. Holes in the seat of my pants, show my skin whole days covered by rants, work me thin... holes in the lives of people with emptied hearts afraid to face tragic facts and take fresh starts. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved | |||
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
i like it, but it seems a little forced to me, like you were trying to hard make the rhyme scheme have such the hard rhyme to it, cuplets. but not bad just a little forced "in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
I liked the ending, actually the last stanza and the way you used it. Nice write. mysticpoe If nothing is something |
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