Dark Poetry #3 |
Leverage |
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Laden fragments pulled into one by gravity weighing beyond the measure of man this albatross speckled with this and that quite beautiful in actuality inside it lives and breathes like the stale stench of the dying |
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© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
woah. so short..but beautifully put. The last line made the poem for me. Thanks for sharing your talents with us. ~Lex... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
As I've said before....You pare your writes down to the quick. This, is darkness without comfort. Liking this! Ed "You shouldn't be surprised at what happens next" |
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Lexia Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 111Nowhere |
I really liked this. I like how you created a vivid picture with your words. |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
like the stale stench of dying...i liked how you finished up the poem, but personally i would have like to see a little bit more discription, i think the short sweetness of it works, but i would have liked to of seen a little more... "in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
exhalation fog dark sits on your brow hmmm? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks Lex - like em short and sweet TY Ed - I am trying - really I am thank you Thanks Lexia eor - if you read into my words - there is quite a lot to be said TY Bri - tis my heart I speak of above thank you |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You are as lovely as your work hun... Good to see some new faces round here! lookin forward to more... Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
Niiice. It gets progressively more enthralling, all the way to the last line. I love it. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thank you Devina . . . I am graced by your presence and that indeed is a compliment alone Ero - thank you so much - am glad you saw into it as well Thanks guys xxoo |
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