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Dark Poetry #3

Queen of hearts

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2003-06-29 07:34 PM

The fog breaks open its tattered cloak
Revealing a broken queen upon earths trembling body
Her crown the only witness to her lonely pride
Surrounded by nuclear lilies, she watches
Gazing through hardened, stone eyes at her jester
Dancing round in circles through the tide of time
Holding out her snowy hand so soft
Waiting in great depression for her kings return
To the ground falls her splintering crown
For now she stands upon her mound of cards
Queens of hearts; laying without rosy face
A forest of thorns surrounding her; still Nobel and blind
The bodies of her children lay row on row
Still she waits as the sun does slowly die
Left all alone without her love; without a friend
The ground once lush; now barren and dry
Waiting for an eternity, her sorrow secretly kept
For all those broken nights, to the ground she softly wept

Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

1 posted 2003-06-30 01:07 AM

i really like this the imagery and description was deep and the kind of thing i think i use in my poetry, you know that kind of grand small universally microscopic type of description, the kind thats neither here nor there, anyways i really liked it and i feel like its not finished i really do recommend that you go back and write more maybe more about the queen or her destruction or maybe the jseter i don't know something, anyways keep it up

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

2 posted 2003-06-30 03:23 AM

Thanks for the response, sometime soon I will go through the poem see if there is anything more I feel I should add. Thanks agian.

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