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laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

0 posted 2003-06-06 02:44 AM

falling,
drowning,
in a world of water,
figting to stay on top.
knowing l'm descending,
tear by fallen tear,
into an unending pit
of dark depression.
the will to struggle gone,
the need to live life dissolving,
and crying on the inside,
and crying on the outside,
but never knowing
how to ask for help,
even though my words
are my screams,
continuous pleas for help,
childish cries for someone to truly care.
so alone, though l know l'm not,
and trying to lock it away.
l'm descending, falling into darkness,
and no one seems to notice,
except for the few l've never met.
physical friends abandoned,
or pushed away,
not wanting to rely on the unknown few,
but needing them all the same,
as l descend, tear by fallen tear,
into the pit of darkness that has become
my world....
laurie. June 4 03. wednesday

Paxia
New Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 4
Minnesota, U.S.

1 posted 2003-06-06 04:01 PM

Beautiful. And something that many people can relate to. I love it, keep it up!!!

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

2 posted 2003-06-06 11:15 PM

thanx.... l'm glad you got something out of it... l guess it served it's purpose, didn't it?
lol.
laurie

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2003-06-07 04:39 PM

Beautiful is right....sorrow can be beautiful when looked at from certain angles, and the poetry it evokes is one of them. Keep writing and expressing yourself, we'll keep reading and u know there's alway someone there who cares.....

Luv ya,
Liz xxxxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

4 posted 2003-06-08 03:34 PM

i just realized that i was staring at the screen for five min. just taking in your beautiful words...

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

5 posted 2003-06-08 09:12 PM

now THAT is the kind of reply a girl likes to hear! thanx,
laurie.
you're so kind...

Chris-
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 52

6 posted 2003-06-09 01:37 AM

most certainly a work of deep passion and ones passion is measured in part by ones depth, hah made that quote up on the spot nice huh it ies in with the descending thing but seriously i really liked it and all i could think of was this girl i used to know becuz this sounds like something she would write during our math class

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

7 posted 2003-06-09 09:24 AM

accepting w/o wanting because there is nothing else? you wrote about this very well.
nice poem.

mysticpoe

Eddie
New Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 8

8 posted 2003-06-09 03:15 PM

I found that amazing!
Poetry is a great way to exspess your feelings towards life, people etc.

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

9 posted 2003-06-09 04:03 PM

thank you, everyone... l didn't think l'd get this many replies, but thank you, soo much. l can't tell you how much your opinions mean to me... wether they be positive/negative. they're valued all the same.
thank you.
laurie.

minusme
New Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 3
England

10 posted 2003-06-09 04:18 PM

hey, that poems so easy to relate to, it wz one of the first poems i read on this site, really emotive - u shud b really proud, u gt skills! keep it up! minusme xx

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

11 posted 2003-06-09 04:43 PM

thanx, minusme...(l hope l spelt that right!) like l said, all opinions are welcome, and appreciated... and all that.
laurie.l think l'm repeating myself.
lol.

[This message has been edited by laurie (06-09-2003 04:44 PM).]

gyiel marlok
Member

since 2003-06-08

Posts 145
OHIO

12 posted 2003-06-09 08:04 PM

laurie it's brilliant, i love it.i think it's a whirlpool of lost life being sucked into oblivian,and you tell it well

Broken
Member

since 2000-03-12

Posts 271
The woods

13 posted 2003-06-10 07:09 PM

A powerful poem, very honest and real, makes you relate to it better, think I'll read it again

Yours truly
~Broken~

Such griefs with such men well agree,
But wherefore, wherefore fall on me ?
To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed.

S.T.C

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

14 posted 2003-06-10 11:23 PM

wow. thanx, guys. l honestly didn't think ld get this much interest, but... kool.
glad you all liked it, and l think l'm going to keep writing. lol.
laurie.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

15 posted 2003-06-11 10:31 PM

yes laurie i feel your pain i feel the same way

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

16 posted 2003-06-11 11:33 PM

thanx, eagle... l guess life hurts sometimes, dont it?
laurie.
btw, glad you liked it...
honestly am surprised, but anyway...

JenniX
Junior Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 29

17 posted 2003-06-12 11:09 AM

Amazing poetry Laurie. I t akes me back in time. Pulls realizations about how simular I am to you.
Beautiful
JenniX

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

18 posted 2003-06-12 04:27 PM

thanx, jen... l guess thats good. or maybe it's bad.
who knows? not l.
luv ya.
laurie.

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