»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #3
»
Stench
| Dark Poetry #3 |
|
Stench |
|
|
Jazzmole Junior Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 30Texas |
There is a sewer running under your feet: Flowing from the bowels of this town, oozing from the intestines of this country, seeping out of the colon of this earth, spilling into the river of decadence and filling the very sea of immorality into which we cast our nets. Into it, we flush our toilets and disburden our guilty concience of all transgressions against humanity. We open the man-holes, pretending not to notice the foul stench of our decomposing children that inundate the senses, as we toss in the contaminated needles used to satisfy our veins and dirty syringes tainted with jealousies and infidelities and talk shows. Smiling with bleeding gums as the violations are washed away: Gnashing our rotting teeth at any who would dictate our conduct and run to the shore to dip our cups and drink our fill of just reward. Michael~ |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Michael - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
this was delightfully foul. It was absolutely awful,which is what made it good..lol...does that make sense...of course it does. Anyhow i think your concept was worthy,and i thik you did a good job writing it,you didn't cringe from that nasty stuff,you put it in there and i think that's a big part of why it's great.Thought provoking.... samantha¤ Do i contradict myself?Very well i contradict myself.I contain multitudes.~walt whitman |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Graphic, It's a good thing we don't have scratch and sniff on this site. Write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
||
|
Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
I liked this very much. Personally i have a very depressing out look on mankind in general and this seems to go along with my thoughts on it. great write i enjoyed it and i like to know that others can see behind the lies and false smiles of mankind as well.  |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
It seems our jazzmole has something of an environmental conciousness... I like. Will try to critique when I have time.  K...and I have found a lifetime can be lived in one moment... |
||
|
Jazzmole Junior Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 30Texas |
Thanks Severn, I look forward to your critiques. I explored this room and looked to see if I had any dark poetry in my archives, but I had none. I wrote this to post here (and to say that, yes, I DO have dark poetry! lol), but as I now re-read it, I see many mistakes. Tense shifting even, *gasp*! Before you hack it, let me clean it up a bit. You'll polish it up for me. Michael~ |
||
|
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
It takes a talented poet to write a negative poem that one enjoys reading and you show your talent here. Yes, unfortunatly with the good we have the bad, the ugly and the evil. We need more courageous people who are willing to shed some light on those things that need improvment. Good write! |
||
|
dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
I have to agree with Swampfaery. This was delightfully awful! Deep, powerful, raw. Great write. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
||
|
Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
Hard to think that mankind can be this foul.It was graphic enough to make me smell it good write Suzanne |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
