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Dark Poetry #3

Request their Dismay

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2002-10-19 03:02 AM

Note: read this somewhat as a song, a fast, thrashing song. Well, that's how I wrote it. Read it as you may.

Slam.
Bam.
Shake the man;
drag him down
to the gutter
where you lay,
in wait,
for each new victim.
Challenge their all,
request their dismay.
Each inquiry
one more scar,
one more trohpy.
Gloat with the tears,
their crying your fuel.
Do what you may,
but you'll never shake me.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (10-19-2002 03:05 AM).]

Succubus
Member

since 2002-09-30

Posts 82
Canada, Ontario

1 posted 2002-10-20 01:46 PM

I totally enjoyed this... I got the feeling I was reading a serial killer's mind. Was that your intention?
Kisses,
Succubus

Some say it's better to have 10% of something than a 100% of nothing...
...But I'll only settle for a 100 thank you...

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-10-21 04:39 AM

Honestly? I'm not too sure. Maybe.

I think I had a few things intended as I wrote this, and that was one of them. Glad you enjoyed it, friend.

Sincerely,
Titus

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-10-23 02:32 AM

Hi, Ti
This is an interesting read.
I tried reading it as you suggested and
I think I got the feel for how you
intended it to sound.
Well done, my friend.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

4 posted 2002-10-23 03:23 AM

i like this, i just hope im not in the gutter

...eor

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