Dark Poetry #3 |
Old words going |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
heart suffocating in a weightless wall old words are going I'm glad for your loss heart is beating fast enough to upset placed bricks just a glaze of water to refresh the mortar [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (10-03-2002 01:31 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
nolon Junior Member
since 2002-09-25
Posts 20Louisiana,Unitedstates |
I liked how this poem was short and yet strongly written.Line 1 and line 2 was cool. Nice job. |
||
Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
I hope this is the good sort of release. your tongue's like poison |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This is bloody awesome Mike. Really pulled at me...my suggestion: have you thought about trying this without any punctuation at all? It's short enough that I think it warrants the line standing alone... whaddya think?? K |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
nolon, thank you. Lori, don't worry, it was. *kiss* K, idea noted -- and taken! Thank you! |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Way hey! That's cool! Much much better...bwahahaha another convert to the world of punctuationless poetry (ooops, did I say that out loud?? Heh)... K |
||
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Now I know I forgot somethen...the mortar?? ah yes!!! Love to hear the release Mikey boy...and? even lovlier to read your words...missed this. ~the absent t. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
K, it's all right. We're in Dark. Let the maniacal laughter flow forth from the broken spigot of blah blah blah. I tire myself. Tanya -- SO great to see you back in these parts! Glad you enjoyed, and understood. *hugs all around* Mikey |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
nicely glazed... |
||
eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
short but sweet and strong...eor |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you both. And Kacy? Now I want a doughnut! |
||
Sikanda Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54 |
Short but good. Really good. You have quite a way with words bsquirrel. |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Sikanda. I'm not sure how good my poems are on an intellectual, or even coherent, level, but they help me with my emotions ... (you know, those things guys ain't spose'ta have ) |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |