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Dark Poetry #3
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A twisted summer day
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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A twisted summer day |
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nolon Junior Member
since 2002-09-25
Posts 20Louisiana,Unitedstates |
This is a poem im working on, but i just thought maybe it could be finished. Well i will post it anyways enjoy. Also to me this makes no sense. Flowers withered Trees bare no leaves only despair Sadness like a plague covers the land The grass a tainted orange A little girl stands in the garden of emptyness Tears fall from her eyes Knowning it was over She wears a skirt red laced with black Scattered across the lands Humans dead Blood stainds the ground The face of evil has struck mankind The sun hides beyond the clouds of darkness Evil stands above the lands No one stands in its way A twisted summer day Quietness feels the city streets The buildings burn A wrath of destruction What was said no one cared What was said no ever listened The face of evil has struck mankind Evil stands above the lands Darkness shrouds the earth No where to turn No where to go A twisted summer day |
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| © Copyright 2002 Noloco - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Welcome Nolon... I like the thoughts in this - very dark in places (hence your forum choice?) One small suggestion, you might like to check the spelling in places  Hope to see more of you..  K |
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nolon Junior Member
since 2002-09-25
Posts 20Louisiana,Unitedstates |
Im normaly don't have trouble with spelling. Point it out to me. Thanks for the comment. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hokies: emptyness - emptiness knowning - knowing stainds - stains and in your reply - normaly - normally I appreciate that most of those were likely typos rather than actually errors - it's often good to run a spellcheck in Word before posting. cheers K |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Quite a dark poem but well written, thanks for sharing. Mister Zu: |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
wow! neat images, nolon like it brian |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Would concur with you on this: Do not quite understand the full meaning, but that's the joy of writing...no one ever fully understands the piece, even the author! Nevertheless, I found this piece to be...hmmm...how do I word this right?...disturbing! The images that were created were graphic and vile, of corpses twisted and broken with red rivers flowing about them...I enjoyed this quite a bit!! One meaning that I thought of while reading this piece would be the loss of innocence: A young girl on the verge of entering the "adult world," where death and pain exist without concern. Very powerful...Another thought was that of the atom bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, as everything near those places would've been grotesque and soul-shattering to see. Then again, I'm rather partial to Asian society--esp. Japan--so that might be a little biased!! >; P Whatever the meaning of this poem, it was beautiful and vile...powerful and degrading...Much enjoyed!!!! "Am assured,receptive,responsive women of substance. My sense of self comes not from other people but from myself? That can't be right." Bridget Jones |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
i liked the dark side of this poem. evil is always there, it's just what you make of it...eor |
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nolon Junior Member
since 2002-09-25
Posts 20Louisiana,Unitedstates |
I thank you all for the comment's. Im sorry i have had no time to run over here and check how thing's are going. I know that i do not know the most of you. I have currently met at least one of you threw email,but for now im a busy person. When i get time i will be here and start to learn you all. You all take care and thank's for the comments. |
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