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Dark Poetry #3
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dying to be alive again
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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dying to be alive again |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Look closely now at the glass-- perhaps you see a fingerprint? Several imprints lingering clawing for a favored glance? Read between the lines my friends squint and see the bubbles rise my words are but my lung in burst-- I drown in verse before your eyes. |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I am seldom disappointed by your poems, Serenity, and this is no exception. Was this Read between the lines my friends a hint at interpretation? lol. In any case I was quite impressed by your implicit metaphor of something akin to a house, which you used to demonstrate entrapment in the lack of approval from others. I also liked the latter "half" of the poem, after the verse I mentioned earlier, in which you made use of imagery suggesting something similar to pneumonia to describe your "drown[ing] in verse." "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
effervescence caresses lips crescent air need air feed fair fate inundate plane |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Cannot help but concur with what they said. Am astounded by the pain in this short piece...enjoyed very much! Still trying to interpret its many meanings.... "cherry blossoms" |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Great work....enjoyed very much. H. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
If you've not drown'd yet.... Maybe hope, Huh? Great, witch ~Ed |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Geeeesus...I just responded to one of BS's poems and had to use the term "between the lines" and then I read this one? I am gonna freak for a few, so wish me well. If you could join me, it'd be a most incredibly weird festivity! Apart from that total kowinky-dink of deja vu freakiness (not unlike "When A Stranger Calls Back" lol), this one anhilated my senses, and you deserve congrats for such a feat. Wow.... {Spending the rest of the night in one-eye-brow-lower-than-the-other-one contemplation.} |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I want to thank all for your kind and generous replies---and this was one of those things that I wasn't sure what was gonna come out--I just kept imagining seeing fingers pressing against the screen trying to get OUT...lol (medication time?) and Purity? *chuckle @ yer reply* I've been "freaking" for about three decades now! Love to all! Thank you. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Breath control gone to drown. Damn, sen.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Look closely now at the glass-- perhaps you see a fingerprint? Several imprints lingering hmmm... nicely done as usual my friend.. the first part here being my favorite as it made me think of something unrelated to your poem, but an interesting tweak of mind none the less.. enjoyed... now get the dust rag out and wipe down those glasses... don't be leaving prints around for people to find |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
you are the epitome of beauty K . . . my words are but my lung in burst-- these lines are quite amazing xxoo |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I, too, am never disappointed by your continually amazing writes. Great work, great in every sense.  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I have decided we need a "Serenity Blaze" forum...so I don't have to go looking...I need to talk to Ron about that.. "Several imprints lingering clawing for a favored glance?" My favorite lines...and it was hard picking. God Karen, I really love your mind. Susan |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
God k, this one crawls through me..amazing as always this could be my favourite..of many favurites |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow. This is kind of like coming across an old photo-- smiles to Susie, you been rummaging again! thanks all--and yes, I'm always startled to see these surface again. I curtsey. You all humble me with your kindness. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Miss you sissy...did you ever get my last email? (tappin my damn foot so hard I might have stepped on rat tail***) Loved this oldie I must have missed during move n all.. Love you sweet one...and? a visit is long overdue me thinks to remind you...  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
This made me tilt my head and smile. Intense and intruiging! "Courage is most readily gained by the desire to avoid looking like a d***ed fool!" :P |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
This piece has several meanings indeed. And its got a kind of creepy feel to it. Nice work. Very entertaining. GIS a trickle of music from a well |
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Lexia Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 111Nowhere |
Very interesting. Mean o many things to different people. Great write. Lex You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow. Ya'll make me wanna come back to the Dark. So sweet of you guys to be so generous. giggle? Methinks I should stay in the dark where I am understood. Hugs and love to all. |
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