Dark Poetry #3 |
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corporate layoff |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa ![]() |
corporate job sun kisses new car and a pair of beepers it blinds through glass elevator to the top floor I watched you ascend into success was happy for your salary odometer spinning like a giddy head my marriage and your job was continental drift a friendship fossilized a mutual friend from Jurassic age brought the bad news office building shift you find stunned weightlessness then the windows flash past kaleidoscope and blur and you land in your father's dark basement a cavern a black pool island hunched in water echo stillness phosphorescent television creates false movement on stalagmite features and blind cave eyes shadows of the fall leaving writing on the wall I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Amazing how quickly we regress when things seem to have fallen out from under us. Enjoyed this glimpse, brian. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Hm... You've chosen some rather interesting imagery to describe the situation of unemployment. I like the way you've made use of everything from palaeontology to Biblical allusion in your descriptions of the speaker's predicament. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Great work....enjoyed very much! DeaDiAmore |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thank you, Mike Fractal -- thanks for the thoughtful read DDA -- your words are very appreciated |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Well, you know what wranx says. You pay your money and you take your chances. The loss of a "Big deal" corporate position is not a thing that I could ever find sympathy for. If ones' sense of "self" is so tied into ones' profession and/or possessions, said "self" is terribly out of whack!...Oh, my! I just preached all over your fine offering. I'll stop that now, and tell you that this is a very good piece. Almost got wranxed up there for a minute. Liked it much, brian ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Never forget your roots, you may rejoin them in the cellar. "Happy people have no history" - French Proverb |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thanks wranx and DO THAT (get wranxed up) RSWells - right on with that, thank you |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I started to say something 'wise' until I read RS Wells reply. LMAO. True, so true. Well written financial angst, Brian. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Your metaphor and simile here blatantly knocked me on me arse... This was just too cool, and oh so punny, but yet so realistic. Awesome, my friend, awesome. Geesh, the beeper and cell are going off, but I'd rather ponder and pontificate on the "never fade aways" of life....like this poem! |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Boy did you ever coin that one well. How perceptive and "---- ---" in the face of CORPORATE America! Bon Voyage! Very well written and could make a ton of money with a lot of disgruntal workers. ![]() P.S. I especially liked this one.... my marriage and your job was continental drift a friendship fossilized been there....done that.....bought that t-shirt! ![]() |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
"You find stunned weightlessness" Why don't they ever see their discovery? I enjoyed this one, BS "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
I think you are just about the *cutest* metaphor I've seen round these days... *grins* missed you man!!! good to be back... and this unemployment stuff? STOP THAT...scaring me here...just started the new job...so if you call 911 in my county? I'll assist you right away...(yikes!)blonde on the board...lol take care my sweet... D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
You could be the voice of my saving anytime, D' ! ("blonde on the board") And BS, I reiterate again, and concur with her praise. |
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Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
I like the second from last paragraph particularly, nice work. |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Coolies! I like! Its interesting, makes you think. ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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