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Dark Poetry #3
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i have tasted silence
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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i have tasted silence |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA 
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the taste of slience, oh yes we all speak of it now but to me, taste is reality the taste of silence when so loudly spoken from my own lips~well, the taste buds inside this flamboyant mouth don't even hint to have sensed...scensed. but the taste of silence, so harshly when given from your victor's hand endures a chain reaction of all of the senses one after another and leaves you as well as me (if not moreso) sucking on your own toes so silence is unwelcome cheese for i don't know about you but this poets foot couldn't possibly be shoved so deep even with such a big, "pillow-lipped" mouth. maybe silence is to remind me (and us all?) of the taste of a petroleum based lubricant to fit such a large "human-to-earth" stabilizer into such a wishfully larger than reality orafice. but, just in case, i offer this i'm not very good at interpreting the nothing of all you have to say inaudibly. i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. [This message has been edited by EveGnosis (07-31-2002 02:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 EveGnosis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
NICE... I love the "lay-out" of the land here. This opener, is actually quite dramatic, and summoned a dark stage and spotlight in my mind: the taste of slience, oh yes we all speak of it now but to me, taste is reality the taste of silence when so loudly spoken from my own lips~well, the taste buds inside this flamboyant mouth don't even hint to have sensed...scensed. I can picture darkness talkin', I can. loved the tone, dark, moody and sorta dank-- thanks! heh heh.  |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
A nice "Poor Slience, I knew him well" kind of soliloquy. ~wranx The shortest distance between two points... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
An Alas, We Knew Him Well soliloquy, about foot cheese?!?!?! Heh heh, only you, E.G. Only you. Glad yr here!Said if I only could ... -KB [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-31-2002 01:06 PM).] |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
should I tease you with the girl or boy thing NOW..or laters??? tsk to me again..I'm sooo ashamed!!! (the whole purity thing) You are crystal dark here... "maybe silence is to remind me (and us all?) of the taste of a petroleum based lubricant to fit such a large "human-to-earth" stabilizer into such a wishfully larger than reality orafice." yes yes YES!!! what an image you paint here!!! As always, I enjoy your deeper than pen emotion!!! ~just a girl Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... [This message has been edited by devina (07-31-2002 01:44 PM).] |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Very cool work here, Eve! One of your best efforts! I liked! (As much as I have also liked the Eve/Devina boy/girl thingy. It's a hoot!) ...thinking of Roseanne on the pitcher's mound...(yet not having to scratch just yet lol) |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Glad you all can grin for me... I'll come out of hidin now...  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
I love this....Great work! Enjoyed much DeaDiAmore |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Kwel silence s kinda creepy sometimes If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
Hmmm... whoa! This is wildly uneven. Lopsided almost to the point of unstability. I give you definite creative points, but I'm going to have to dock you on the structure and theme. I found that the beginning started very symbolicly, very unreal like. Then, as we progress through the poem, things start to become a little different. Finally, by the end, I felt as if the poetry was yelling at me - forcing a message upon me. While I think the words and flow are quite impressive, i think this poem could use an edit. Perhaps trim this down to half the size and work on more powerful imagery. Stay focused and sweep a theme throughout the piece. You seem to have the talent for writing, you just need to harness it. Great job. Dragon |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
I guess since I put my foot in my mouth today in a big way, I found this to be most apropo! I had forgotten the days of your forcing fetishes into everyday situations...lol. Still a masterpiece, Eve! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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