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Dark Poetry #3
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Night, My Love
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Night, My Love |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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softly now the night holds me again all light comfortably silenced. This is me dreaming again of times when my only love was starlit soft and brazen eyes on my skin he tickled through a haze of lonliness while I fell soft to thoughts that would take me to my dreams. Would anger take me away again as I am too drained to smile while encamped among rotting branches of a "once was" life? Too much perserverance and a road of dust wrote with chalklike agony, its will upon my breath and now I stand back in the arms of a familiar love. Night dressed in its best and ready to receive me. Cool caress of lips standing steady head upward in tilt awaiting the demands of the old master. Dark not darkness. I am walking in the wake of shadows and it thrills.  I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement. [This message has been edited by Temptress (07-20-2002 03:35 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
A trilling thrilling read of Night Dark. It seems that I don't read your work as much as I would like. I'll soon fix that ~wranx I have great faith in Humanity...It's just most of the Humans, I'm not too keen on. E.F.Rose |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
YOUR NEW PICTURE ROCKS!!!! And the poem is pretty awesome, too.  She said burn ... together. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
"I am walking in the wake of shadows and it thrills." Two syllables: Yummy. Aaaaand.... Mikhail, don't make me forget I've put aside my jealousy. Though it IS a cool pic. written in blood before everything went black |
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alibaster Member
since 2001-07-07
Posts 299In my own private hell...(PA). |
Hmmm, and is not dear Dark such a grand lover? Wonderful wonderful words hun!! Until...ali "There is an alter ego which dwells within every soul."(C)alibaster "If it doesn't bite, scratch and make you bleed its not worth it"(C)alibaster [This message has been edited by alibaster (07-19-2002 10:21 AM).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
good. . . there's more. . . I was hoping. . . thank you. . . just another reason to come back here. . . wonderful. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
You write of the dark well, Jennifer. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Thanks, everyone. I don't get the chance to thank people anymore individually, and I apologize for that. I'm having some trouble with a few lines from this. Reading back over it, I'm not satisfied with this, "...wrote with chalklike agony, its will upon my breath..." Chalklike agony. Does that really make sense to anyone? If it does, can you tell me how you are reading it? I'm not sure the image or the feeling makes sense, but I'm having trouble writing the firstline to still go with the second line and the sentence structure (yes..sentence structure in free verse..mine at least *sticks out tongue*) in the rest of it. HELP? I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
From "wrote with a chalklike agony", I got the dry agonized keening sound that chalk makes, also good sec tie in with dust reference. But what do I know? Still thrill chilled by it. ~wranx I have great faith in Humanity...It's just most of the Humans, I'm not too keen on. E.F.Rose |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
about the line...chalklike agony...I read it smooth (yes smooth..shush!) and interpreted as screeching dry- that type of thing...and? it WORKS Gen...never second guess a piece of art like this one hun... I've missed your stuff for WAY too long to critique...so don't ask! grins... enjoyed this... Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hey! No second guesses/humanity allowed! This is Dark! I, too, thought of it as nails on blackboard, only now yr also chokin' on its dust. Whee! She said burn ... together. |
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