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Dark Poetry #3
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Even Still...
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Even Still... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Time's will is strong from infinite years of detachment that shatter the greatest of earthly realm's dreamers. I find it a less-than-worthy-of-bereavement fatality; new day's sun casts light on empty spots of futile gestures offered to previous night's moon to discard with justifications of passing-by life. Hue of dark colors are forever coaxed from trees getting in the forest's way. Paradox multiplied when kittens & pups forget playtoys once removed from sight & elsewhere, simultaneously, humans then beg the blue moon to return the throwouts not missed in view. Deep & deeper in blah-blahs of meaningless everyday rituals branching out to more time consuming ruts; Stop! Even if only briefly, catch a glimpse of the beauty of eyelids meeting in closure. As you calmly fill lungs to capacity, will the cells of oxygen into doorways of once-was & remember not to forget. The dominance of time can come unto defeat by being more conscious of the conscious need to ignore it. Then you shall see, as I have, it's all still here... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Carrigan Chantz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
Unique wording, Purity. Captured my interest from the first line. Indeed, time can buff us about, and become an enemy when things desired are "out of sight/out of mind". Wow, intensely deep, yet flows well! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
At first, I thought this was awkward, then, caught a cool cadence that knitted it all together. Slowing at "Stop!" and slower yet until "then you shall see, as I have." "It's" "all" "still" "there". Cool read ~wranx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
A thick yet strangely readable stream of consciousness (or some state thereof).  Cool, I used "thereof."These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Wranx, you rule...Thanks for the "neatest" of acknowledgements...from you, that was too cool...bsquirrel, most "the 'preciate'"... I was hoping to illicit a response from you as most of your works are even more maskedly deeper than this attempt. Thanks! |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Sorry to double respond, but News...the "out of sight/out of mind" is the whole premise of the poem. If time is such a "friend", then the one you so care about, when they go out and live their own life and do their own things devoid of you ("out of sight..."), would still in the smallest of thought spaces remember you, miss you, and will you to be..."even still". Thanks for catching on to this theme in and amist all the over verbage. (Hiding my feelings, once again) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Nothin' wrong with double responding. But there is something wrong with me "bump"ing you to th' top again. Pay me. j/kMike These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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