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Dark Poetry #3
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Love Song No.9
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Love Song No.9 |
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veil nulet New Member
since 2002-05-14
Posts 4 |
Love Song No.9 'Baby, baby, baby...' my baby's got rabies, she's not ever gonna never not climb free of her gloom. All she does is shuttle with a cockroach scuttle 'cross the bare floorboards of her room. Nicotine and alchohol fill a hole not at all, still we'll charge our glasses and salute the stupid world. Sugared contagions fly and body language lies and 'sickness' is such a loaded word. Lie nearer me dear. Nuzzle in. Be the yin to my yang, grin like you do do sometimes. We'll curl up, me & you, in the capacious cap of this cigarrette pack, this comfortable coffin for two. |
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| © Copyright 2002 veil nulet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Welcome to Dark Poetry, veil nulet! This was quite the unique write....capricious in it's sardonism...which I loved. Thanks for sharing this literal "No. 1 Hit" with us! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
That deserves to be a charging punk song with Beatles harmonies. She said burn ... together. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You got here!!!!!!!! YAY! WAY COOL - so good to see you here...bounce bounce...first thing to put a smile on my face all morning I assure you. you are right - this is certainly one to read out loud...since you're new here, I won't crit you...hehehe...(lucky you  )See ya in skool...  K |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Welcome to Passions family of poets and friends~ Hope to see more from you~  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
hmm... actually, i kinda dig this... i can see a punk beat set to it, and thrashing my head... (uhm... if that's not your intent, believe me i mean no offense  )Welcome to Passions Chris |
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Welcome! That was interesting to say the least. I really enjoyed reading it and look forward to your other works. *darkstar* |
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veil nulet New Member
since 2002-05-14
Posts 4 |
Thankyou very much for the kind words and warm fuzzies. Bsquirrel, your description of the poem as "a charging punk song with Beatle's harmonics" is so cool- well, shucks, I'm embarressed. And thankyou especially Kamla for introducing me to the site. The poem was written sitting in a pub all on my lonesome and is driven more by sound than sense- that's why the second stanza in particular's so obscure. The girl's real though with real problems- love-sickness is not the only type of sickness you can have. The idea behind the poem's that if you're taking that ride down down down down you might as well do it in company- and meet up maybe with Mr. Thanatos together. Not all my poems are Dark but I hope you don't mind if I keep dropping them in this forum? Just so they're read by people I like. |
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LadyPeach1 Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282 |
~*WELCOME TO DARK PASSIONS!*~  I loved this! I was totally into this poem! You did a wonderful job and painted your feelings beautifully. I hope to see more of your poetry on Dark Passions soon! Great Job!  LadyPeach1  |
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