Dark Poetry #3 |
The Air |
Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
THE AIR What ails my heart, it cries tonight my soul in sorrow blanketed the heat, the heat, it smothers me from eyes flow tears unlimited. Who claims my tears, are they my own? could be this time it feels so real before ‘twas death three times in all the air I breathe - unclean, unclean. Not here the peace I seek and need my body made to live off air unless, unless, God’s sieve of love disrupts free flow of sad despair. It ends this year of change, it does new air must come; it did before to you, to me - how can we breathe this air diseased of evil wars? But I forget – there is still love it comes to still my deepest fears Triumphant in the heart of me it flows not forth in torment tears. I breathe that part yet still I fast, it’s in my soul until I know who shares my air and hears me say “to me, my darling, please come home”. HMH |
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© Copyright 2001 Helen - All Rights Reserved | |||
DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Honeybunch, This is a very sad poem you have penned for your first offering to share with us all. I like it a lot though. It is sad, but great. I hope you will enjoy your stay with us, as much as we will enjoy having you. Please check your e mail for a special greeting. Dawn |
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Dark Kisses Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364Flat lands of Kansas |
Welcome to DP. This poem was beautiful, full of pain yet beautifully written. I hope to see more of your writings! Mags The hardest thing to do is watch someone you love, love someone else! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you very much for your comments and welcome. Unfortunately time steals creative moments of writing but I'm guilty of being a bit of a lurker! Yes, it is a sad poem but 2002 is soon upon us and that new air is awaited most anxiously by me and, no doubt, by many. Thanks again! |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Welcome aboard, and yes, the new air is comming! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you Eagle One! Let's fly the air of no despair!! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Who claims my tears, are they my own? could be this time it feels so real before ‘twas death three times in all the air I breathe - unclean, unclean. I loved those lines. This is an excellently-written poem. I enjoyed this, and look forward to reading more soon --Marie "It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows) |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, Marie, for your most encouraging words. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
I enjoyed this very much!! Welcome to Passions, I hope you find comfort here!! ELMO |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Comforts are but fleeting - it's love that is enduring. Thanks, Elmo! |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
Very sad, but nicely written. "What makes letting go hard isn't losing what you had, but losing the dream of what could have been." |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you for reading, angel girl. Sadness comes and goes till finally we know the beauty of our souls! |
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Siofra
since 2000-09-28
Posts 551State of Suspended Passion |
This was excellent...and seemed near enough to perfection in my eyes. Enjoyed. "My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, Siofra! I'm pleased you enjoyed it and I'm pleased to report that for now the feeling has passed. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Welcome, honebunch! I don't step into this forum often enough. I'm sure glad I didn't miss this one. It is painfully well written. Breathe in, breathe out, and hopefully the fresh air will keep you writing and posting, and not just lurking. Although lurking is cool too! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, midnitesun! Fortunately the air we breathe does change from day to day. |
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dimples New Member
since 2002-02-15
Posts 7 |
I really enjoyed your poem. It's well written. I read it and was astonished I loved how you put everything. It well all just seems to fit. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you, dimples, but it was merely relating a feeling - just telling it like it was. |
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