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Dark Poetry #3
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A Preference of Hell
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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A Preference of Hell |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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He writes of her as if he knows her moon, and songs of love she sings He speaks as though he's danced below her arms the comfort of moonbeams and all this rhyme of twinkly things her eyes a million lights in sky as I keep pace of haunting's trace blowing smoke-rings as he dreams-- for all my words that went unheard each dawn another tear to cry... I cannot find capacity, I can never speak That word I've heard through tears of burn-- I cannot tell this man "goodbye." So it is true I make my choice and where I stand intend to dwell, No one understands me now... My preference to stay in Hell. He says we cannot understand, but I think that I do in bondage to decaying past I closed my eyes to present truth. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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He Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 41 |
A soul tearing search of self whose conclusion accepting seems the ultimate deinal of self. Beyond sad. |
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
This is a wonderful piece and i really enjoyed reading it. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I think we all spend a little time in hell...James |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh K dear...this is heart breaking...but I have to say it is beautifully written... I cannot find capacity, I can never speak That word I've heard through tears of burn-- Thanks for posting here my friend...many hugs to you... K Strokes of ink, words, dreams like Waking mountains make intimate conversations With my shadow From 'Words in the Night' by Jeff Geddes |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
I have to agree with those before me.. there was a beautiful flow of words, here. I'm not exactly sure how you did it, but looking at it structurally, I thought it would be hard to find the rhythm.. but, it was just there and went so well with your theme. Great write. Sheila |
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monique Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369Louisiana |
Oh! Serenity can we pull you out of Hell The poem is fabulous And the feeling is heartfull and artfull [This message has been edited by monique (edited 01-27-2001).] |
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wandering Member
since 2001-01-21
Posts 92 |
such deep feelings burn within this piece...wonderfully written lost in thought, found in words. wanderer |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Sister Serenity, These words gems of sorrow, as I keep pace of haunting's trace blowing smoke-rings as he dreams-- for all my words that went unheard each dawn another tear to cry... I cannot find capacity, I can never speak That word I've heard through tears of burn-- I cannot tell this man "goodbye. "YIKES" they are SOOOoooo very perfect, Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
serenity, *HuGS* write on, till pain is gone Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
Simply great! Your dark flow is mesmerizing. *thanx*  mYsTiC [This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 01-27-2001).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
No one understands me now... My preference to stay in Hell. Hey Sista, I understand you  I do. your poem was beautiful in its pain and its ache. Great writing hon Maree |
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
Wow! I wonder if we enjoy torturing ourselves with moments past rather than moving on at times? There is a strange pleasure in pain. Good dark stuff here! You know I had to come back for more! *thanx*  mYsTiC [This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 01-29-2001).] |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
Serenity This is awesome, powerful stuff, simply heart-wrenching. Resigned to sadness. Thanks for sharing *hugs* Sylvia |
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Baby G Junior Member
since 2001-01-28
Posts 39Australia |
I loved your poem, and if I could ever write as good as you, I'd never put my pen down. your fantastic! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I want to thank you all...am overwhelmed here...was sort of another experiment in using internal rhymes to kinda stitch a weave--so glad that it translated!! Bless ya all my dark passioned friends! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I'm... *sniff* ...touched. Teasin' S'en - you write true, that's what makes 'em good. C |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
This describes too many years of my life in ways I didn't dare begin to write. Almost a release for me, just to see the words there, even if they are not my own. Whatever details are changed from experience to experience, I HAVE BEEN HERE. THANK you for this. Take care of yourself in all respects, please. Think, want, and be well. |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
If hell does exist, it is here and it is now. I hope certainly the character in this poem isn't one who constantly complains and cries about the situation she's in and yet stays, aggravating her freinds...stupidity gives way to stubborness after a while. Sad, but good write! Jeremy "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
firejrm...izzat it? I take no offense, even tho this is obviously a personal poem for me...more's the pity, I say, because I do understand that what we do not understand? We will eventually experience for ourselves. Sort of a spiritual law. But thank you. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very nice one here. The power in this poem is amazing. Good job on it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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