»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Tree
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Tree |
|
|
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Tree of darkness Watered by hate Evil without harness Bearing fruit that must be ate Growing without light Hate flowing in a demonic flood Covering the world and forcing night Choking the innocent on their own blood But the fruit must be eaten to gain the power The power that’s not really here Instead it drains and weakens by the hour All their power is really just fear Soon the tenders of the soil And the eaters of the fruit Will feel their blood boil And have no weapons, or guns to shoot Uhm..ok don't ask me what this means cuz the last few things I have written, including this, almost wrote themselves. That might account for the reason why they suck so bad. Anyways enjoy. >¶Øʆ< |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
It doesn't suck bad- it doesn't suck at all. It's a good message, quite powerful. Good job keep it up  Bel "And you're my obsession I love you to the bones And Ana wrecks your life Like an anorexia life" - "Ana's Song", Silverchair |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is well written not one of your best, but it still is good I'm still waiting for that one happy poem  thanks for the read keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I love how you said the poems wrote themselves......and within the poem I liked the line about the innocent choking on their blood. Anyhow, it was a wonderful read.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Heart=Life Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 29United Kingdom |
This was really good actually, Can't criticise cos' it was well written the wording was great, it's in my library |
||
|
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
WOW!! One of your best poems I have seen write themself. Anyway, this was a MAGNIFICENT poem and is going straight into my library. Great job on this once again. The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny |
||
|
Wicced_Witch Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 110Clarksville, TN, USA |
It didn't suck. It was great, really. Its going in my library too. Steph |
||
|
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Although I just started reading your work I though this was a great first poem for me to read of yours. Hope to see more of your work and your going straight to my library. -- Linc "The goal is not allways the the reason something is done the path to get to the goal is more important." |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Hmmm...if this sucks, then by golly I wish my work sucked as bad as yours This was really an awesome poem. Very visual and creative...you write more, I'll read more. Deal? good  ~K~ ~*Won't you come and hold my hand? This world has taken me as far as it can... without your smile.~* ~*If I never said I'm sorry, then I'm wrong, |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This one wasn't as impressive as the other one. Still, a good idea behind it. I'd revise this if I were you. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
