Teen Poetry #4 |
Fading Away |
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
~¤ Fading Away ¤~ Losing consciousness My senses fade Lying motionless Lonely and afraid Vision is lost Friends disappear The room is spinning My thoughts unclear Voices fade Time keeps tickin' 'Died alone' Eulogy written ps I'm not really depressed. Just exploreing the feelings of depresion.< !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-14-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 IsGona - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Extremely sad and poignant words....well written, Isgona. I really liked this. *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
i want to take this time to remember everyone of the direct effects and side effects of drugs and alcohol... the poem is very good. very well written. i liked it San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great poem Isgona.........this was really nice. I liked this one a lot.Keep exploring! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
That was a really good poem. Ski*Girl |
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Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
That was a really good poem. Ski*Girl |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
It's great to be able to write about something you're not feeling. And you should always explore different styles. Good for you, nice poem, Jason. xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very good.. i agree with Jenn. keep writing these nice flowing poems ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, I enjoyed this one! Well done, Jason! |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Thank you every one. I'm suprised to get this many responses. I really struggled to write this and by the time I was done I thought it wasn't very good, but I guess I usualy think that. Thanks again... means alot Jason ps A special thanks to San for the touching Public Service Anouncement. lol "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
This was super the first time, and even better the second...just don't go exploring so far into depression that ya can't seem to find your way out...Keep writing these beautiful things, much luv. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yeah, what Carly said Nice job on this, I really do like it how it's written. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ohhhh...that's good short, stabbing phrases it makes me wonder how some writers can do that it doesn't have to be a full length sentence to bring up a point great job keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
Well done. I sometimes feel like I'm losing my sense of myself too. **No weapon will pierce my heart, no hand will be raised to harm me as long as I write.** ~a_little_girl |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This is such a sad poem and the words are so strong...Excellent job |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Thank you Thank you Thank you. I am again suprised that ppl are replying. I have been such a stranger lately, but thanks again. Hopefully I will find some time and insperation to write something new soon. And hopefully I will find time to read more of yours. ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
EXPLODEING! (The Lost Supetrone dives for cover while the other people remain still) (Somone explains to The Lost Supertone that exploring and explodeing wile similar in spelling have completely differnt meanings) OHHHHH haha um... Anyway I liked the poem, very well written, I like the line "Ulogy written" thinking abou that I should make my Ulogy! |
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