»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
My World Collapses
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
My World Collapses |
|
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA 
|
I was hit pretty hard by something after writing my own little world, this is what developed. Contemplating suicide long I realize the evil in this world is too strong I cannot change these terrible wrongs Tears cover my face in throngs Female friends tell me of their rapes Others tell me of their near escapes I am weak, powerless to the fates My walls crumble in place I have NO power to help the planet I take time and realize: man is on it Man so full of corruption and evil It washes over my world: A tidal wave crushes a sea gull And rips sails unfurled I HATE this world we have wrought I wish to live here no longer Take me to a realm of thought Where my heart can grow stronger Then bring me back and make me see There is still good in this life And if together banded we Could still not dent this evil strife Pain had forged me, now it breaks me I can stand it NO LONGER! This evil has won me don’t you see I want to give up to the hate-monger I’ve been traumatized now I will into lapses My life is upside-down As my world collapses. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK [This message has been edited by Elvenblood (edited 03-04-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
omg this is sooooo good. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE it. mos def goin in the library. i love all your work bryan!! GREAT JOB once AGAIN lol ~*Valerie*~ *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here........I also think the world is a messed up place.......full of evil and so on....but then sometimes I see a ray of light......a ray of shear goodness in which totally cancels out all the evil. It's that goodness that we must concintrate on to lead a healthy life......  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
GREAT job, Bryan! But fix the typo in Stanza 5 so nobody gets confused. Well done, man. ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-04-2001).] |
||
|
TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Wow, what a powerful poem. I loved it! "pain had forged me, now it breaks me" Just 2night I watched a program, and about a year ago they had this lady on, workless, looking after 22 other old people, feeding them, walking miles to bath them, she got a few donations after the program and could then look after 44 old people unable to help them selves. 2night was a follow up...a few weeks ago she was brutally murdered...I was near to tears...why? She was so nice. We shouldn't stare us blind against all the bad in this world, cause then we will never see the beautiful things which make this life worth living...you can't change the world, you can't change or control what happens, but you can decide how you are goin to handle it...maybe you can inspire someone...and before you know it...you started an goodwill epidemic  Once again...fantastic poem! Keep up the good stuff! Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
this was awesome!! MY World Collapses..i love that title for some reason. maybe im just weird but EXCELLENT!!*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was SUCH AN AMAZING POEM!! It literally took my breath away..absolutely amazing, really touched home for me..you have incredible talent...keep em comin! |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
PROMINENT 'Nuff said.. that was incredible JR When my life dims to a perish, it will become a quote in itself... |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
it was good, really good. I agree with you. I really am enjoying your work. Keep on posting Regina ps...into my libary |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
