Teen Poetry #4 |
Senryus as a reply to Allan (bit different) |
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Ok this is a bit "different' there are senryus put together to tell a story. You might not understand it because it is hard to explain, but if you are in need of explination please tell my and i will glaidly try to explain it to you. Also i am sorry i have not wrote anything happy lately its just alot is going on and i have to get it out sometime. So i am very sorry everyone. I know you do care, but help you just can not do I do not need you. alone i must be. forever i've been alone a mistake is me things always go wrong, and i often know not why so i start to cry no one knows my past its something i do not tell stay away from me please Then i think again, I know not why i do lie. please dont leave my side. < !signature--> To do anyting LESS then your BEST is to SACRIFICE the GIFT!!! [This message has been edited by Angel in Flight (edited 01-14-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Amanda - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
damn it dude, nice one, what are we gunna call that writing form? I don't know if thats been done before or not, probably not. Great poem though, it paints the images of the story very clearly, keep it up. >¶Øʆ< |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
We need you as much as you need us. Even though we're all teenagers with our own seperate lives we all come HERE, to passions, for a place to feel cared for. It's a sanctuary. Glad to know you'll let us give you hope and it shows by this reply to Allan. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm so flattered and touched that I won't point out the errors you made in your senryus. ~_^ Just remember not to be afraid to use apostrophes... forever i have been alone could be... forever i've been alone... Sorry to be this way, just trying to help you improve your senryu skills. They were very nice, still. -Allan Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Thanks Allan for correcting me i do want to learn how to do this right. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
it's nice to always have someone there to try to help you. that's exactly what i've never had all my life noone sticks long enough to really help you're a lucky person I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
I am with Dopey here on this one... We are ALL here for you... we all come here to feel cared for and personally I always feel better after being here... I hope that things get better for you... This is a wonderful peice and I hope that we can help you at any time!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Acrie, I am here for you even if i am a little messed up right now i promise i will stay even when the clouds are gray. I'll be there to light your day. No rhyme intended. Melz~ i know you are all here for me and will do anything to make me ora nyone feel better. A family of friends WOW how true |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
nice to see a lot of kindness in this forum. I really liked this one a lot. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I really like this, it's a great post "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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