»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Mr. Misery
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Mr. Misery |
|
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
And when you hit the brink and you begin to sink whether or not you know you go on with yourself thinkin' you'll find yourself in somebody else but they don't know you anymore than you do 'cause at these plays they hide their eyes for they fear the dark and all your lights went out 'cause you forgot their importance and you let them die out so that at least something would be like you. and in the end we still pretend the time we spend not knowing when we're finally free and you could be -NIN "The Wretched" Angel of Darkness |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Morgana - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Wow, I had to read that througha few times to really get it. I'm a little slow when I'm tired! It's very good. I really love it, and I'm adding it to my library, because I hate to forget people. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here but there was no sentence periods or anything....or not much of it....so it was a constant flow without any stops and I just rambled on the read. I got some of it but then it flew over my head. For the most part it was a nice read.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I do that every now and then... The things I write come out more like a long speech without any real pauses or purpose. I write them that way mostly because that's how they came to me. In a rush without structure or obvious meaning. Then in a way it comes together...or at least sometimes it does. Thanks for your replies.  and in the end we still pretend the time we spend not knowing when we're finally free and you could be -NIN "The Wretched" Angel of Darkness |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
it's a wonderful write, but i too would like some commas and periods. if not at least put it by line  thanks for the readSo long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is a very interesting style. I'll oppose Dopey and say that it gave it its own message, its own feel. Made it feel flustered and confused. Great job. -Allan The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
weird, too continuous but it was a good clump of thoughts JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
