Teen Poetry #4 |
I blew the best thing in my life. |
Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
I see you leave, In slow motion over and over again You pack your bag, look at me And turn without a goodbye. Walk out the door, scream your name, But you are gone. every night I lye, Awake and pray, That I will someday, turn all my wrongs Around. I blew the best thing in my life By hiding in a lie. I know now that it wasn’t smart. To start a big fight, About something that small. I blew the best thing in my life On one single night. How could I ever be that stupid. To tell you these lies, About something so fake. Hear our memories, Speak out loud through these four walls Feel your pictures, silently breathe Every time that I feel so cold. Pick up the phone, thought you called, But there’s no one. Every night I try, To fall a sleep, Really want to dream, turn all my wrongs Around. I blew the best thing in my life By hiding in a lie. I know now that it wasn’t smart. To start a big fight, About something that small. I blew the best thing in my life On one single night. How could I ever be that stupid. To tell you these lies, About something so fake. I blew it, I blew it bad, Now I’m sitting here lonely and sad. I blew it, I blew it so, Now there is no tomorrow. I blew it, I blew it good. I only wish that I could, Turn back time. I blew the best thing in my life By hiding in a lie. I know now that it wasn’t smart. To start a big fight, About something that small. I blew the best thing in my life On one single night. How could I ever be that stupid. To tell you these lies, About something so fake. |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
wow man that really rocked I liked the end of it the repetition of the I blew it part that was awesome and I have done the same thing nice write. in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
WOW!! i totally digged your poem. it so rocked. i too liked the repetition of the "i blew it" part. it added a little somethin to it. keep writin'. love- dana |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was so sad.....geesh. Well I just hope it blows over and maybe you can work things out. Nonetheless this was a great poem! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
This is so sad, but very well written. You've expressed yourself supremely. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
WOW! *GREAT* Job, Hallucination!!! I absolutely loved it. I've felt the SAME way at times. It's a horrible feeling and I'm sorry. I hope things get better. *Hugs* Keep posting! You write amazingly. |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I thought this was a EXCELLENT poem. It was quite sad..but beautiful. I have felt the same way recently and it good to know that I am not the only one out there..... Hope things get better very soon... Always, ~Nikki~ |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
That was really beautiful. I definately felt your emotions in that one! Way to go, and I REALLY hope things get worked out for you. Rhonda "Who did that?" "Charlie and Blake." "Who's Charlie and Blake?" "Rhonda and Amy.""Great. There goes the school." |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
The repition read like a song for me. It was really good. I loved all of the wording you used. Great job, but it is a sad thing to live with...keep your head up. Jenn |
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