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Teen Poetry #4
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Sorrow
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Sorrow |
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Yezea, your Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 11Canada |
Hi guys ! Im rather new here and i really like this site.. I just wanted to show you one of my poem... P.S.: My first language isnt english.. so please dont judge me hard :/ The sorrow of the love A sorrow of love It's learning to smile again It's telling him a simple Hello, when you wanting To kiss him It's looking Through the window and wait The one which won't come again It's building a world On a simple smile It's meeting your friends And tell them everything is alright It's laughing with tears into your eyes It's looking at him Without touching him It's a novel already read It's a sun Which won't warm you again It's to seeing that Someone else got your place In his heart It's a temple Where silently you cry It's asking yourself a question And already know The answer It's fleeing his eyes Afraid to read the forgetting It's understanding that This time, all is over It's searching the love Where you cannot find it |
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| © Copyright 2001 Zeah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey...i liked this one =) i don't see any places where it's awkward because of your english. i know i would have a lot of problems writing poetry in another language. (trust me i've tried in spanish, it wasn't pretty) welcome to passions, i know you'll like it here as much as i do. keep posting! -fear- |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
wow... good job! I agree with fearing.. I didn't see any awkward places... you did great. dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
 Welcome To Passions! I think you did wonderfully on this first piece!! I look forward to reading more from you and im glad you enjoy it here as much as we do! P.S.-Check your e-mail for a special greeting! |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
Hey, that was an awesome first post, especially English not being your first language. Keep 'em coming *TiMMYBoY* |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
 Welcome to passions This is a great first post. There were only a few awkward places in it but if English isn't your first language, it is something to be proud of. One part I found really interesting was this: "It's looking at him Without touching him It's a novel already read It's a sun Which won't warm you again It's to seeing that Someone else got your place" Seriously, I love that bit. Hopefully, we will see much more of you around here with your many replies and posts. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME...this was a great first post...nice poem...i liked it a lot...and if english isnt your first lang. you should post it in your lang. i bet there is someone who can intrepret it  ...anyways see you around...bye  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Wonderful first post and a welcome to passions with open arms!!! You'll be a wonderful addition to the passions family. Keep up the wonderful work! *that what does not kill us makes us stronger!* |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Welcome to Passions!!! I thought your first post was great. Great emotion and powerful words..I hope you find lots of happiness here. Cant wait to read more from you ~Always, Nikki~ |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! hope you like it here!! that's a GREAT first post!! hope to read more from you soon!   I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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Evylyn Junior Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 20Florida, USA |
Excellent!!! *Sniffles* If only it wasn't so sad, though. Such feelings harbored inside can cause great waves of pain. I hope that by writing this poem you were able to vent properly. *Hugs* I can't wait to read more! "The only thing that boggles the mind is the mind itself." |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Hey that was great! Welcome to passions What is your first language btw?  Bel |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
awwwww i loved this yeza. ive read it several times now and i like it even better each time i do. i agree with evy..this is so sad...i cant believe that it came from u...but i know ur icly better and ur always just so happy and cutish as yeza but more someber as zea. i think the contrast of how i know u is just amazing. i love it. think you did a great job hun...and..just to answer the questie from above....its french! to my library this goes hun! *hugs* love you muchs *whispers 'its gana'* tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job here! I welcome thee to Passions!! I enjoyed this first post and look forward to more!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Good job. i liked this a lot. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Awesome first post. Welcome to Passions in Poetry. I really enjoyed the read. There weren't any placed where I could tell english isn't your first language.. quite impressive. Nicely done. I look forward to reading more, more, more! hehe. --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced. |
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