»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
I saw
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
I saw |
|
|
Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
I saw you looking at me we looked at each other I asked myself why am I here? You try to hide your feelings I do too we are two different people It's like we aren't friends anymore you don't care about me While my heart is still broken I don't know how a friendship can break I'm still heart broken from you dating my friend You and I said we will still be friends but that didn't happen like every other EX I shake when I pass you in the hall way my heart still remembers you you have no room for me in your life I shake when I see your screen name come on I want to die because your online probably talking to your girlfriend When you were dancing with her my heart couldn't take it I put my head down ~*~Minna~*~ |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Minna - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Geez...I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope you feel better soon! *hug* I can see you put a lot of emotion into this, and it made this poem stand out. Great job! Your last line was superb. Really effective. Wonderful!  Again, I hope you'll be okay. Stay strong!  ¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤ "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world." |
||
|
n e where Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 32Australia |
The first I've read from you, a really good poem and soemthing i can relate to 'When you were dancing with her my heart couldn't take it I put my head down' something about that last line hit me good work ~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel. |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...this was powerful to me...awesome job on expressing your feelings...i really liked this poem...very sad...hope things are better ...bye  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
|
Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
it's like he doesn't like me because i'm his ex. oh well thanks for the replys Learning how to walk, Learning how to talk, are the hardest thing to do in a baby life. Learning how to walk for me is the hardest thing to do. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hmm... this is a tough situation you are in, Minna. I'm sorry to hear it. I wish you the very best, good luck in pulling through. I like the stanza sizes in here... nicely done on this aspect of the poem. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Sounds like a toughy here. I liked it and hope things get better Minna!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
