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Teen Poetry #4
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Ski*Chick
Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141
Fitchburg, Mass, Usa

0 posted 2001-06-01 11:44 PM


I saw you looking at me
we looked at each other
I asked myself why am I here?

You try to hide your feelings
I do too
we are two different people

It's like we aren't friends anymore
you don't care about me
While my heart is still broken

I don't know how a friendship can break
I'm still heart broken from
you dating my friend


You and I said we will still be friends
but that didn't happen
like every other EX

I shake when I pass you in the hall way
my heart still remembers you
you have no room for me in your life

I shake when I see your screen name come on
I want to die because your online
probably talking to your girlfriend

When you were dancing with her
my heart couldn't take it
I put my head down

~*~Minna~*~

© Copyright 2001 Minna - All Rights Reserved
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
1 posted 2001-06-02 12:12 PM


Geez...I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope you feel better soon! *hug*
I can see you put a lot of emotion into this, and it made this poem stand out. Great job! Your last line was superb. Really effective. Wonderful!  
Again, I hope you'll be okay. Stay strong!  

¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis

n e where
Junior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 32
Australia
2 posted 2001-06-02 12:17 PM


The first I've read from you, a really good poem and soemthing i can relate to

'When you were dancing with her
my heart couldn't take it
I put my head down'

something about that last line hit me

good work  

~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel.

~Well maybe its the time of year
Or maybe it's the time of man
and I don't know who I am
B

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-06-02 12:20 PM


wow...this was powerful to me...awesome job on expressing your feelings...i really liked this poem...very sad...hope things are better ...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Ski*Chick
Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141
Fitchburg, Mass, Usa
4 posted 2001-06-02 11:27 AM


it's like he doesn't like me because i'm his ex. oh well thanks for the replys

Learning how to walk, Learning how to talk, are the hardest thing to do in a baby life. Learning how to walk for me is the hardest thing to do.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-06-02 12:14 PM


Hmm... this is a tough situation you are in, Minna.  I'm sorry to hear it.
I wish you the very best, good luck in pulling through.
I like the stanza sizes in here... nicely done on this aspect of the poem.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-06-02 03:42 PM


Sounds like a toughy here. I liked it and hope things get better Minna!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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