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Teen Poetry #4
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Sonnet XVI - Blended Us
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Sonnet XVI - Blended Us |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
Dopey asked for a new type of style, so here it is. A sonnet, of course it's a little distorted in my own special way, I hope you like it. Sonnet XVI - Blended Us: beating, drumming, pounding my ardent heart; pretty, pulchritudinous, cunning face; my sweet, angelic, heavenly fine art; stunning, royal, bonny smile of red lace; scintillating, twinkling, eyes of passion, relax, ease, loosen the simmering mind, breeding, generating dashing fashion; acquit, release, unshackle the confined; allow, permit, let us be all in one, sharing, enduring, dispensing our love; reaching, grasping, latching onto the sun; delighting, enriching, comes from thereof; synchronized, coincided form of trust, inhabits, breathes, subsists in combined lust. -Knightfellow "If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jesper A. Knightfellow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow... im so in love with your writing a new style, it really works and it seems the sonnet form is conquered here the expressions of how you feel about this person are awesome: "beating, drumming, pounding my ardent heart; pretty, pulchritudinous, cunning face; my sweet, angelic, heavenly fine art; stunning, royal, bonny smile of red lace;" and then you go on about how you want to be one with her, synchronized in your trust... and in your lust... AWESOME... keep writing your way bro! ~JDR< !signature--> "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 01-25-2001).] |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
hey this is a great way of expressing your love and lust..and you constructed a perfect sonnet, something i won't try to do..can't stand writing them..great work "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
yeah, what Jermey said. I'm quickly becomeing a fan. You are a very creative writer. To tell you the truth I have read very few sonnets that I like. (just not a sonnet fan DON"T SHOOT), but this one I love. Infact you may have just inspired me to try my FIRST sonnet, Thanks for this read. Look forward to the next ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You're right, it's different style of a sonnet Still, I'm gonna have to agree with JD I guess he has summarized it all already beautiful write thanks for sharing this I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great one here. I really liked it all. The style is great, not just a sonnet...but a dreadedliver sonnet. I loved it. Great job! I have my eye on your talent.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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