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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-18 03:15 PM

odd visions
of odder sights

of great monsters
of greater fright

lost in this dark place
trying to find my home
i dont know where i am
just lost once again

creepy people
of creepier places

strange feelings
of stranger faces

found a new day
in a brand new place
trying to live out my dream
from and empty hole

beware the odd my friend
it never is wut it seems
except in the bitter end
when death does strike

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-18 04:22 PM

This is a very interesting poem... I really liked the form you used, and the content is thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

2 posted 2001-05-18 05:39 PM

BRAVO!!! *applauds, drops and praises Ben, kissing his feet*

great job hun, i really like it

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-18 05:59 PM

nice format on this one, i liked how you seperated some of the lines into couplets to make them more profound. great writing, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Heaven
New Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 8

4 posted 2001-05-18 07:42 PM

THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. I REALLY ENJOYED THE WAY YOU WORDED THAT. IT REALLY MADE ME THINK. I LOVED IT!!!!

Love is a tragedy
Friends never last
I fear the future
and regret the past

MoeRocko
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 166
West Virginia

5 posted 2001-05-18 10:46 PM

Hey Ben, haven't read anything of your's lately, but this Rocked. Groovy write man
Keep writin' man.

Castles made of sand slip into Sea eventually...

Why do people remind me of vacuums?

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

6 posted 2001-05-19 12:26 PM

This is an interesting format. The way you divided your stanzas held my attention. Nice work!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-05-19 03:52 PM

I enjoyed this a lot. Very well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-05-21 02:41 AM

nice job...interetsing read...keep writing...ben...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Elusive^
Junior Member

since 2001-05-13

Posts 18
dancing fairy land

9 posted 2001-05-21 10:03 AM

wow..fantastic...the angle you describe it at is very, very thought provoking..
well done

''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..''
'LaniDarkone'..underwent a change of name.

That girl Megz cant write
New Member

since 2001-04-29

Posts 7
State: Confusion

10 posted 2001-05-21 04:01 PM

'eY Ben-jamMin!!!* weLL I was loOking for your other poem that you said I hit "right on the moneY" you know the one that talks about the island...yeah...*nods b/c she knows what she is talking about*...weLL I can't wait to read more of your poems!!! you have a whole lot of talent!! haha, thank you for helping me "gather my thoughts" and trying to teach me how to "COMPRESS!" haha, maybe one day I wiLL think of another line and we can post our poem...haha, ok weLL i'm going now...luv ya ben!

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

11 posted 2001-05-21 04:22 PM

This was really different, but I liked it. Nice work.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-06-10 11:24 PM

Enjoyable read. You have done really good. keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

13 posted 2001-06-10 11:28 PM

really cool. I like this poem, and it did make me think. tho I don't really like to think..there's a sign on my brain that says temporarily out of service....sorry, totally off topic. I like this, and hope to read more from you soon.

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

14 posted 2001-06-11 02:01 AM

Interesting format. I likes!

MindlessPoet
Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 106
Texas

15 posted 2001-06-11 02:24 AM

Hey. Nice Format!

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me. The Weird One.

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

16 posted 2001-06-11 07:18 PM

i liked this...good job. i really liked the format!!

--ethel

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