there's some magic to it - pipTalk Forums

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obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

0 posted 2001-05-14 09:16 PM

There's some magic to keeping my body empty,
to holding back from everyone else,
everyone who compliments my shallow silouhette.

There's some mystery to the gag reflex,
but only for the first few weeks of acid and anxiety,
followed by reward, relief, remorse.

There's some wonder to the darkness about my eyes,
like a jumping shadow that can't be placed
or sewn back, or stuck with soap.

There isn't a single question about the months of hospitalization,
rehabilitation
and the feeling of triumph in starving upon release.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-14 09:28 PM

i liked it...the way to expressed your self through this poem...well done...thansk for the read...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

2 posted 2001-05-15 12:18 PM

Sad, but well done. I like the title you chose.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-15 01:49 PM

wow, the images in this are truly amazing, the words that you put in this piece are really beautiful. you have a lot of talent, i'm enjoying reading your work a great deal. keep posting your poetry

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Elusive^
Junior Member

since 2001-05-13

Posts 18
dancing fairy land

4 posted 2001-05-15 03:26 PM

so full of irony.,,and resent..
if you want to talk email me..take care..
adding it to my library..
some magic indeed.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-05-16 02:11 AM

I thought this was odd.....very well written, but my idea as to the exact idea of the poem is hazy....help me out?

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2001-05-17 11:41 AM

Wow this one was amazing! Excellent job here hun

Tangerines
Junior Member

since 2001-05-07

Posts 22
Richmond, Virginia

7 posted 2001-05-17 12:09 PM

I like this a lot. It's very well-written - your imagery is powerful. I especially love "the first few weeks of acid and anxiety."

"I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-05-17 10:41 PM

This is great, the use of tercets made me think of villanelle.  I was considering making a suggestion that you try to fit this into villanelle format, but after reading it I conclude that it is fine as is.
Primarily because of the power behind use of "rehabilitation" in its own line.  I thought that was a remarkable idea.
You did great on this, I hope to read more of your work soon.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-06-01 12:13 PM

Seems like you're headed the right way. Unless I'm misreading this. keep sharing

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

10 posted 2001-06-02 03:40 AM

this is sad and painful to read

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