»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
emptiness
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
emptiness |
|
|
artemis_selene Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14virginia |
this is so bad, it's kind of depressing, but i guess it contributes to the overall theme. An endless tide of sadness laps gently at my soul A river of anxiety feeds the ocean of my fears Darkness, lonliness, all the demons that haunt my tortured mind why does it have to be this way? there will always be a void a bottomless abyss of self loathing, self doubt, self conciousness they are all like stones laid upon my chest they make me sink down, down into a sea of emptiness. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 artemis_selene - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very sad....I hope it's not a personal reflection...here is a hug for you (((HUG))) just in case  SEA |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job on the poem and this has a similar theme to this poem i wrote but it only has emotions compared to it..i liekd it and hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
OUCH i really really enjoyed this one...like alot...a sea of emptiness...awsome job *KiMMiE* |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I like it a lot you expressed yourself well and im a big fan of free verse one thing though, I'd take of the stanzas and write th ewhole thing as one just a thought  "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yeah, I'll be honest and admit I liked your other one better than this. I am not a big fan of free verse however unless it is done incredibly well. Might have something to do with the fact that I can't write free verse to save my life...  Well keep sharing, either way. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i, on the other hand, love free verse, and i also really like this poem. your express yourself beautifully in this and the poem is full of emotion. great job on this, keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was really sad, and it was almost as if I could feel your pain within the poem. You wrote it well though, and I wish you the best. Good job. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
ScarletPoetess Junior Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 18 |
You have beautiful words in this piece. This is a poem to be proud of. You expressed yourself nicely, and the flow is right on. Wonderful job! I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. |
||
|
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was very sad but not every poem can be full of happiness...the important thing is you write what you feel...and thats what you did Excellent |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was great. I prefer this one to the other one. Hey, we all have our preferences right? Well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
