»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Shadows of Love (Paradelle)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Shadows of Love (Paradelle) |
|
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
|
Ok Hello This is my first attept at a Paradelle so I was wondering what you guys thought and If everyhting was correct and all? ---Shadows of Love Dreaming of your glory Dreaming of your glory Heaven in your eyes Heaven in your eyes Dreaming of your eyes Glory in your heaven Passing days and nights Passing days and nights In shadow of your love In shadow of your love And passing days of love Of nights in your shadow Hurting from this deep pain Hurting from this deep pain Something I can't condemn Something I can't condemn From this something hurting deep This pain I can't condemn Passing shadow of pain Hurting from your love Something in your eyes Days and nights of dreaming I can't condemn your glory Deep In this Heaven --- Check out the poetry workshop!!! it certainly helped me. <<<_Zu_>>> " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson E-mail/Msn: [email protected] [This message has been edited by Marshalzu (edited 05-04-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Sweet! I always love reading paradelles.  I didn't see a flaw in this one, it's all technically written very well. I think every stanza is creatively organized (which makes for a good paradelle), and I am very impressed! Isn't this a fun format?  I really do hope to see more from you sometime in the future, Zu! Or from anyone, I love paradelles!  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is really incredible, i'm glad to see you expanding on your talent and trying different formats (espcially ones as difficult as this one). you did a wonderful job on this piece, i hope to get more to put in my library Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. great job, zu! It's great to see more paradelles.. they're fun to read! Very nice job, these are beautiful thoughts. Well done. --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
||
|
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks guys, I wasn't quite sure about Paradelles but it wasn't as hard as I first expected... Maybe I'll try a villanelle but I will be posting more Paradelles in the future because I think I like them... Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson E-mail/Msn: [email protected] [This message has been edited by Marshalzu (edited 05-04-2001).] |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...great job man... i really enjoyed the write.. first amtempt was a success.. keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done Zu!!! Wow this was a good one. You came out with a punch on this. I wouldn't have expected this from you hehe......WELL DONE!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanx Dopey and Albert |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey there andrew.. wow..you're going to get biased opinion on this one for sure...*winks*..i thought that this was great...heheh..im not being biased here for one second!! i think the line that hit me the hardest was "this pain i cant condemn"..WOW...i'll let you in on a little phrase i made up to get me through tough times: 'pain lasts a little while' and it's true..for both statements..you cant condemn it...and its not going to be there for long. deep and meaningful stuff Zu... "Life is not long and boring, |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I too like the paradelles. This one worked quite well. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
