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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-02 11:17 PM

Ode to Friendswood

Somewhere, she is in adolescent memories
Waiting for me to arrive again
First love lies in your first home
Your second follows you where ever you roam
And the final love returns you to where you began,
To the first, the base of all
Sustaining this Friendswood
For all to see and fall in love again
Where ever their first lies

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-05-03 07:25 AM

I don't understand the last line, could you clarify for me please?
Other than that, I thought the poem was ok, but not what I'm used to seeing from you.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

2 posted 2001-05-03 01:08 PM

this made me pause and think a bit, and i like any poem that does that for sure. i don't know if i caught on to all of it exactly but maybe i'm not reading hard enough

. anyway, good job on this, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-05-03 01:12 PM

This was a really good poem, fozz. I really enjoyed this... a lot has been put in these few lines. The flow is very nice, and the way you worded the poem was excellent. Great job..
Very nice work.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-04 01:41 PM

I enjoyed it, but the ending was a bit..well....fuzzy....i liked it though!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-05-18 02:27 PM

excellent read. This is really good. Great way at looking at things. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-19 02:56 PM

NOt my fav, but I did like this.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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