Teen Poetry #4 |
grrr@my brain! and o yea its untitled :D |
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
ok last nite i fried my brain cuz of to much studyin for finals....soo i really havent been ables to writes muchs todays....only this one and 'rain falls' so far..hopefully more laters:d and ummm this is sooooo not me best but o wells lol im just like playin with other formats and stuffish toos! lol sitting in the shade....of this beautiful summer day feeling the cool breeze....on my sun warmed face the swaying grass....tickling the back of my knees theres a buzz....bzzzzzing in my ear a ladybug creeping....slowly over my hand lazyness....as i do absolutely nothing wondering....how this day could be any better contentment....because it cant “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i think you shouldnt end the poem there.. something seems to be missing out. other then that tho.. i think you did quite well.. keep writing tiff ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
*slaps the lady bug off your hand* EWWWW!!! hehe good poem, i really liked the ending there. Well done! Have fun studying for finals, I don't have to take them! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I really like this a lot, this is one of my favorites from you. the imagery is absolutely amazing, you painted a beautiful beautiful picture with your words. i liked the way you ended this too. keep posting all your work, i look forward to reading more. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*Applauds* Bravo!! VERY nice, Tiffany! I loved the ending, and the imagery is amazing... beautiful work. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*stands up and applauds*~ cant you see, i love free verse "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
ahh...i luv nice days..even if there are nasty bugs ::shivers::: dopey....you killed the lady bug!!!! they r good luck (think karma lol j.p) *KiMMiE* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
LOL@Javi Ok ok.... great poem, Tiff. Very serene, calm mood you set here, and I really appreciataed it. Maybe I have a sick mind but I like the imagery of how you described your physical position. Kinda made me picture your beautiful, sun warmed face, and you laying there happy. Nice. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
thankies for the replys guysas lol@allan dork tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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