grrr@my brain! and o yea its untitled :D

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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-02 04:25 PM

ok last nite i fried my brain cuz of to much studyin for finals....soo i really havent been ables to writes muchs todays....only this one and 'rain falls' so far..hopefully more laters:d
and ummm this is sooooo not me best but o wells lol
im just like playin with other formats and stuffish toos! lol

sitting in the shade....of this beautiful summer day
feeling the cool breeze....on my sun warmed face
the swaying grass....tickling the back of my knees
theres a buzz....bzzzzzing in my ear
a ladybug creeping....slowly over my hand

lazyness....as i do absolutely nothing
wondering....how this day could be any better
contentment....because it cant

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-02 06:30 PM

i think you shouldnt end the poem there..
something seems to be missing out.
other then that tho..
i think you did quite well..
keep writing tiff

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-05-02 08:25 PM

*slaps the lady bug off your hand* EWWWW!!!
hehe
good poem, i really liked the ending there. Well done! Have fun studying for finals, I don't have to take them!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-03 09:56 AM

I really like this a lot, this is one of my favorites from you. the imagery is absolutely amazing, you painted a beautiful beautiful picture with your words. i liked the way you ended this too. keep posting all your work, i look forward to reading more.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-05-03 01:46 PM

*Applauds*
Bravo!!
VERY nice, Tiffany! I loved the ending, and the imagery is amazing... beautiful work.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-05-07 06:47 PM

~*stands up and applauds*~
cant you see, i love free verse

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

6 posted 2001-05-07 07:10 PM

ahh...i luv nice days..even if there are nasty bugs ::shivers::: dopey....you killed the lady bug!!!! they r good luck

(think karma lol j.p)

*KiMMiE*

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-05-07 10:57 PM

LOL@Javi

Ok ok.... great poem, Tiff. Very serene, calm mood you set here, and I really appreciataed it. Maybe I have a sick mind but I like the imagery of how you described your physical position. Kinda made me picture your beautiful, sun warmed face, and you laying there happy. Nice.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

8 posted 2001-05-07 11:25 PM

thankies for the replys guysas

lol@allan
dork

tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

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