Teen Poetry #4 |
Victorious, Defeated. |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Victorious, Defeated. Victors write the history books, So they can just forget my role, I was defeated by her wondrous looks, And I found my heart she’d stole, I went and won the battle, And in the end I lost the war, I was moved around like cattle, I’ve been here all before, I went and faced my Waterloo, And I came out feeling great, And with that my confidence grew, And they felt my ego inflate, Victorious, Defeated, I lost out in the end, The bitter taste secreted, Drove me round the bend. <<_ Andrew_>> " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Be careful of flow, Zu... there are a few lines in here that were uneven, it made it harder to read. Still a good poem, but be careful of this in the future. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this. Thought you wrote a good poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very nicely done, Andrew. This is a well written poem. I like this a lot. Good job. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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