Teen Poetry #4 |
Terra. |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Terra. Earth. An average planet, With an average sun, In an average galaxy, An average story has begun, Earth. An average orbit, Has got an average moon, An average atmosphere, And the point is coming soon, Earth. An average planet, But it is a place of great beauty, We are extraordinary life, Looking after has become our duty. <<< Andrew >>>. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." [This message has been edited by Marshalzu (edited 04-15-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I really like this one. The structure is great, talking about our average planet and then the last stanza gives us the point, which is that we are some of the beings that makes this planet special. Thanks for sharing. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a great poem, Andrew! I liked the format and the style very much. The flow is nice.. Very good job! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
An average poem, with great beauty. Well done Zu. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Haha...every time you put a one-word line in your poems, and then have your name at the end, its a part of the poem...haha...right I'm tired and going to take a wittle nappy-poo sho nice poem and peace out. ~Carly There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Some how I felt you could have added a bit more to this poem to make it better. The idea was jolly good though! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
interesting read. i do agree with your poem thanks for the read keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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