»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
You Don't Seem To Understand
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
You Don't Seem To Understand |
|
|
CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA 
|
Hello. I just thought that I'd let you all know that I really enjoy reading your poems and you are all great. This is actually a song that I wrote about a girl that I have liked for about 2 years... Well, here it is. Let me know what you think. You Don't Seem To Understand I wish that you could see Just how much you mean to me You say I'm just what you're looking for I try to walk into your life but you've locked the door I wish that you could be The one that understands me You see, you're just what I'm looking for You're what keeps me wanting more and more I've opened up my heart to you You say that you feel the same way, too But what you don't seem to understand Is that I think I love you I wish that you could understand That my heart seems to think you're grand You see, my heart knows just what it needs You seem to be where my heart always seems to lead So I've opened up my heart to you You say that you feel the same way, too But what you don't seem to understand Is that I think I love you - Cody [This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 04-14-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice job i liked the song...and WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!! I HOPE U ENJOY UR TIME HERE  also if u liked the poems it would be better for u to reply to them. that'll be great  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-14-2001).] |
||
|
katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is good! i hate when you like someone and they don't feel the same way! keep it up ~kate 'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.' |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions!!!! Unrequented love really really sucks, and there are a lot of people who can relate, myself included. You describe this well, and I hope to see more of your work in the future.  PS-check your e-mail "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hullo hullo hullo!!! Welcome to Passions!!! yer gonna luv it, as we all do. This was a great first post, very great indeedy. I'm lookin forward to more! ~Carly There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
 Welcome to Passions! This is a great first poem, the format was awesome! I hope you like it here, and I hope you stay for a long time Nicely done!  --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this was a great first post. Welcome to passions! hope you like it here. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
||
|
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
nice first post.welcome and enjoy. *S*staci |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
 WELCOME! GReat job~i really liked this. keep up the great work and keep posting!! *dq -=We often get hurt when we trust someone we want them to be instead of who they really are=- |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I did like this one, but I know that a well-defined flow is important in a song. I couldn't find it here, it wasn't the worst flow I have seen but it was not exactly something that I could sing exactly. You might want to use a bit more of a defined meter and syllable scheme. Welcome to Passions in Poetry. I hope you enjoy your time here, and thanks for the compliment in the forethought.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 Welcome to Passions Good job on the song, I hope you enjoy your time here and share a lot with us "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Welcome to passions!! this is a great first post and i realy look forward to reading more of your work. i know you'll love being here. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do. I thought this song was ok. It wasn't the best but it had a lot of love song potencial. See, most song writers use some sort of chorus.....but there are some artists who don't....radiohead tends to just write down a jumble of words and voila they got a hit......anyhow.....I felt that this had potencial. Maybe a little bit more addition to it....also some words in here seem a bit...well like a child would write it....I think you know a lot more words to fit. Remember.....a song doesn't have as much rules as a poem does. Syllables don't really matter in songs....it's the way you pronounce and the speed you sing them at. Of course along with lyrics come the actual music and that's where the tricky part comes into play. I have some written music and lyrics and I'm still working out some kinks into a complete song..... anyhow....nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
