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Teen Poetry #4
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untiled open for suggestions!
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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untiled open for suggestions! |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
Endless night burning to be with you, the moment the day is always lost without you, Summertime to winter time, Spring to fall, Girl you are the one that brighten them all, From the biggest moutains to the deepest sea, All I can ask is that you will be here for me, I love your long black hair and if none else does, Who cares!, Deep blue eyes stopping me in my place, And with your awsome smile truly you have a angel's face. In all of this I just want to say, I like you so please don't run away, I can only offer you my heart, But with every minute each beat is for you, Lead me not into temptation, |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the format of this poem is really cool and interesting. keep posting, i look forward to reading more. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, This is a great poem its nice. I liked it. Until next time -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I didn't much like this one from you jytree. I feel that you've done better. The flow didn't hit it with me nor did the way you write it. You have done much better. As for the message of the poem, I hope you get the girl and I wish you the best of luck!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
I agree with you dopey I can't write a good poem for now I hope my thoughts will kick back in soon and about rhe girl I hope so to something coll though I got one of my poem finally published the memories it is cool Lead me not into temptation, |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I don't agree with Dopey at all. I thought this was a really good expression of yourself. I like it a lot  keep sharing"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
hey mike, is this the one you wrote to her btw? and i agree with dopey...i like this one alot..it reminds me of you! hope to see you more now that im here  love ya, tiff |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
opps my bayad  i meant i agree with acire..not dopey lol sowwy hunNaY! *hugs* |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
i thought this was good. keep writing. :o) ~ab~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Don't lie, you agreed with me. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hahaha...dopey... [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-20-2001).] |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i liked this poem...but im sorry i cant think of a title for it. but yeah dont mind dopey...i thought it was a great poem!! "Life is not long and boring, |
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