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Teen Poetry #4
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Bathing in glorious darkness, In the shadow of your tombstone.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Bathing in glorious darkness, In the shadow of your tombstone. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Bathing in glorious darkness, In the shadow of your tombstone. Your my figurehead of hate, You drive me up the wall, You try and orchestrate, The beginning of my fall, A lonely, gloomy gargoyle, A statue to the dead, Your plans I have to foil, If I want to keep my head, An eerie, stony silence, And the air is filled with terror, A prelude to the violence, That comes about through error, Sunbeams pierce the shutters, And dance across the floor, A heavy ceiling mutters, As step on through that door, Bathed in glorious darkness, The shadows hide your face, In whispers I hear you confess, A mask hiding your disgrace, You kneel down before me, Beg me to spare your life, But you just cannot see, It’s you that’s holding the knife, Can’t handle the condemnation, The disapproving eyes, Look for your salvation, Realise promises are just lies, Life is looking very bleak, And the night is setting in, Your feeling very weak, And you need to just give in, Sympathetic ears turn deaf, And pitiful eyes go blind, As you draw your final breath, Your saved by all mankind. Andrew. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
That was great!!! i love all of the details. and i love dark poetry!!! can't wait to see more!! lots of love, dana |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. this is an excellently written poem. Very dark... I like it a lot. The imagery was wonderful. Great job! --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this. The flow was great. You're quite talented. I can't say that enough. Great poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very good job! If me and Dopey were captains of the Teen #4 Poetry teams, we'd both want to pick first just to be able pick you.  And of course we'd be the captains... hehe...The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nicely written good job on this poem keep writing  |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is one of my favorites by you, very well written and the flow is really excellent. keep writing and posting Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks for all the great replies... I wasn't aware that there was a passions team... and even if there was what would they do?... I suppose this isn't really the place to discuss it either. I just broke one of my own rules actually by reading this again and I think i'm going to do it more often because I actually noticed where the flow was stunted a little... anyway thanx again for the great replies. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Despite a few of the "your" that shoulda been "you're" deals, this was a very good poem. Heh, your sig is awesome. Keep postin...Forgot to mention the title, it kicks some major booty!! ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks alot carly... I wasn't sure about the title but I'm sure now. Andrew " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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