Teen Poetry #4 |
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please help with the title |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Too much light Can blind your sight Only the darkness of night Can keep your mind right Clear your mind Try to find What’s behind The eyes so blind Look at him scare As his perceptions of fair Are skinned bear And his eyes begin the glare Say goodbye To the sky With one final sigh As you slowly die And finally know what’s real Stop being able to feel The kiss of death there to seal This last and final deal For some reason I have been using this format lately...I think it's because I'm lazy and don't wanna experiment all that much.. >¶Øʆ< |
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© Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Linc![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I am speech-less this is another great poem. I can't what to see the next keep them coming. Your a great poet. Until your next masterpiece (soon I hope) -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ohh, Poet does it again. Very nice job here, can't think of a title, my brain's kinda shot...(stupid meds) anyways, yeah. peace. ![]() ~Carly Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a great piece. Your work amazes me more and more each time I read a new poem. Nicely done yet again. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done, but not my fav from you. Anyhow, it was a good poem nonetheless. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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orange()alligator Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21 |
~PoA~ hey! what's up? i thought you were really good at writing stuff before, but you seem to have gotten a lot better! go t! lol -berg- |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey poet.. ![]() nice poem ...but i think that you should try and vary it sumwhat cos: 1. sumtimes it give more emphisis to what you're trying to convery in your poetry 2. ryhme schemes like the one you have used may get monotonous ( have i spelt that one right?? ) i liked it though ..dont think that i didnt.. ![]() one more thing though poet...its just a suggestoin but do you think you could replace: And his eyes begin the glare to And his eyes begin TO glare i dont know what you wanted the meaning to be but it just gives it that smoothness i think you tried to achieve through your ryhme scheme muah! |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is once again really excellent work, i really like your poetry. i don't really know about a title, for some reason i really like blind leading the blind, but that's just me. anyway, excellent work and keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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