Teen Poetry #4 |
so far away |
Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
Visions about holding you, dreams about loving you, But that ain’t never gonna happen Cause I’m just a regular human, And you’re a super model, actress, beauty queen on the cover of the TV guide. If I could I’d open my heart to you But I’m way to shy, And if I meet you the words would come out so wrong All my life I’ve been wanting to sing you a song about how I, straight from the heart. Every time I see a picture of you I look into your eyes, they’re like to shinning stars Rising from the horizon. I only wish they where the real thing. Cause then they would be the most beautiful Diamond rings. Just knowing your in this world and I can’t reach to you Makes me lose control, my senses, don’t know what to do The pictures of you in my mind, is what keeps me alive Without you in this world, I just wouldn’t be living at all |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
A very unique portrayal of love here. I liked the thing about eyes being diamond rings. that was very neat. Nice job. ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
celeberity love? i thought it was a funky, intersting read. regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I don't know what it was about this one, but I didn't like it as much as I do some of your other work. Maybe you could try breaking up the lines more to make the flow better. THanks for sharing. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it. I thought this was a well written poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
So, who's the celebrity? good post keep sharing and dont forget to answer my question "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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