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Teen Poetry #4
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Take a walk through the mind
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Take a walk through the mind |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
OK, I am really angry about this because I wrote what I considered to be a really good piece last night. Then my evil computer ate it and wouldn't cough it back up. So as a result this is a shabby duplicate.  Enter in a dark hallway, Take a look around. Exhibitions of your pain, Etched upon the walls. Frail attempts to cover up, Maddening aspects of time. Consumation of your hope, Acute twinge in your heart. Manipulation laced with insanity, Stupefy passing motions. Corruption by a thought long gone, Locked away in a sea of infernal rage. Bottomless pity, Herded by feelings of guilt. Blackness stains the coloured existence, Disrupting the dejected life. Navigation of a tide turned bad, Whisper daunting fears. Rational beliefs loosten their grip, Fading from the touch of light. Loneliness surrounds the soul, Prying sanity from its home. Creating borders of unbreakable boundaries, The Horrors locked in the mind. [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 01-17-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
definitely isn't shabby at all....and I have had this happen many times when there is a power surge and for some reason I never recall my words when first typed so I am learning (not always doing) but that after each line save the words in notepad and then at least you have what was written before the "lights went out"..I enjoyed your words.. ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
My goodness gracious. I read this very very slowly, and I could see all the word pictures you painted of the mind. It was an incredible piece that I thoroughly enjoyed, good till the last drop and a bonus of a thoughtful aftertaste... ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
As always, I am amazed by your work. This poem is greatly expressive, and as Child of the Stars mentioned, is very descriptive. Well done, i really enjoyed reading it, even though it wasn't the original! -Allan Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful post here. I liked this one a lot. Flows nicely and the wording is stupendous.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
People: Thanks for the replies everyone. I am glad that you all enjoyed it. This would have to be the first one in ages that actually hits close to home for me as someone I know is suffering very badly due to their mind. Once again thanks. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Very good job of writing this one so well I usually write with a pen on paper, so i don't really have the computer problems with poetry. It's only the school work that never gets saved."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I guess Carly already said it all The style it was written in I can also relate to Now, how do you expect me to say something now that Carly has said such praise  I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
oh this rocked! So deep and descriptive. i like i like And i know what u mean bout writing a good peice then the computer eating it...done that about 5 times now! I HATE it...cause i can never remember the poem. oh well! thats the way things are meant to be sometimes i hope to read more soon*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow wow wow such beautifully woven words glued to a perfect piece of poetry. I hear my library calling? ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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