Teen Poetry #4 |
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Still Got Your Lipstick Mark. |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
I see your face in the mirror I feel the touch of your hands, every time I close my eyes. Got a picture of you by my bed got a thousand shattered dreams, inside of my head. still got your lipstick mark, on a coffee cup, got your messege on my anwaering machine, after all these months I feel it's time to give up, But in a corner of my mind, I gotta believe That you'll be comming home to me. I'm torn between dreams and reality I'm separatet between your heart and mine, need a little room to breathe. but I can't leave you all behind got a soul full of pure emotion, cause you're always inisde...me still got your lipstick mark, on a coffee cup, got your messege on my anwaering machine, after all these months I feel it's time to give up, But in a corner of my mind, I gotta believe That you'll be comming home to me. I know I was wrong, but baby please, let by gone be by gone just wan to feel your lips against mine again just so complete in our love, still got your lipstick mark, on a coffee cup, got your messege on my anwaering machine, after all these months I feel it's time to give up, But in a corner of my mind, I gotta believe That you'll be comming home to me. |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i really liked this one. the whole lipstick mark, made it very orginal. There was sadness but it fit well. great work. Regina |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
wow... just, wow! i liked this a LOT! original work! -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did well on this poem cept for a few spelling errors. Nicely done though. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
Obviously this is a song? Or at least the start of one? Wondering if there was music somewhere that goes with this. If not, there should be. Crystal "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be the greatest fan of your life." |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
I believe that the "chorus" if you like reminds me of another song, the lyrics to the chourus goes "Got your lipstick mark still on my coffee cup (no no wasn't good) and in the courner of my mind (I think it's time) for me to give up" Something like that, but it's a good song/poem none the less. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I liked this one alot. This feeling is hell. The few spelling errors kind of hurt the flow, but other than that it's great. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a song right? Great job here... I like the flow a lot. Nicely done --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Don't you think you're obssessing a little bit too much? This was a good write. keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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