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Teen Poetry #4
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Crystal Catacombs - Arena (entry 7)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Crystal Catacombs - Arena (entry 7) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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Here's the new beginner! We'll start with something low. Who will be the winner? In time, we're bound to know! For time, the distant sinner, arena days are slow! we sit and we await... the calling of our fate... Beginner, come, advance! Don't be afraid, it's fine! Today you have the chance to cut your binding line! Stand tall, in form, in stance the darkness-clad divine we stand up and we cheer... as clashing sounds grow near.... The first round was too swift... you must be something new None other has the gift to do quite what you do You plunge your claws, then shift... then tear, and rip, and skew... we'd never seen before... the nature true of war... The second round, a breeze? You've slain our finest man! Dispatched the fool with ease, as thought that no-one can! Opponents of you freeze... once killed, become a fan! we love you oh so much... come close... we want to touch... The third round won't occur, too often have you won! You've wrong-way-rubbed our fur! We only wanted fun! The crowd can shout and stir... but you are only one! don't let the hero die... oh why... great master... why? To you, I tip my hat and set you, at last, free! Without us, you're a rat, an insect, without me! you're helpless, as a cat, who's stapled to a tree! we need him, as you know... he makes us live... and grow... You're turning back around... come close... we want to touch... Avert your eyes! the ground! It needs them just as much! Just look at what you've found! A purpose! life! a crutch! oh? it cannot be true! we know now what you'll do! Your claws are truly keen... as claims my sense of pain... My stomach and my spleen are symbols that I'm slain... And now, you leave the scene, to love and kill again? we'll miss you, noble man... now fight, if still you can... [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-24-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Allan, this has to be my favorite in the series. I really love the imagery and the story you're painted here. As I read deeper, I see a lot more... but perhaps I'm reading a bit too deep, who knows? Either way, this is a wonderful piece. Thanks for sharing your talent.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I see you made it into the top 100 posters here. You'll probably be passing me real soon if I don't get my act together. Nice job on this poem, I'll admit I haven't been following the whole series, but I like this one  The story really held my attention well, nice job!"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this one a lot, Allan. This one if one of my favorites in the series. VERY nice job, yet again! --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
I think I missed out on the previous six entries, but this one was exceptional. An real vivid depiction that gives the reader enough information to know the scene yet still have details to make up for themself. A true Beauty. |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Allan ~ I had to read this a few times to get it, cause the first time, it went RIGHT over my head. I guess it's a lil early for me right now...Anywayz..This was a GREAT post, I think this might be the first I've read in your story...I think I might go out in search for more  i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
 I am impressed! This is so vivid...the scene just unfolded itself before my eyes.Keep it up. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this one but my favorite still stands as the rain one. Keep the series going.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Hey its me. well i really liked it. i missed most of the series so far though,  great work Allan! Regina |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Allan, The first time I read through this, I stared at the screen for about 5 minutes trying to figure out why I wasn't liking it. I re-read it and found little bits and pieces that stuck out. I read it for a third time and came to the conclusion that yes, it is a brilliant piece. Your italicised sections really made quite an impact. Especially this: "we'll miss you, noble man... now fight, if still you can..." Very nicely done, Allan. Can you please write something dodgy for a change? ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
SWEEET!!! This one rocks!! Are these lyrics or something? They'd make a great song. Keep it up Allen It can't be! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This must be the best one so far I don't know but it's got something about it can't wait to read the next one though im lagging behind "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
As always, this is brilliant work. i always admire your talent and your way with words. the story was splendid and the images lept off the page. keep writing and posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Yet another excellent addition to the Crystal catacombs series. Andrew. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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