Teen Poetry #4 |
End of The World - Awe at Destruction |
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Great massive city in ruin Standing up to distant skies Last breaths of fire and smoke escape In dimented freedom it flies Away from this dead place, agape. Howling a haunting cry in vain Great chasms fill'd with empty lost hate. Last breaths of fire and smoke escape End and death seal'd witness to fate. Bodies strewn, tossed, mouths agape. Shall we begin again the dance of evolution pure and sweet? "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice one Fractal. Not the most outstanding but this one still toted great imagery and the choice of format suited a piece like this. Keep them coming Fractal. ~AF~ "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Oh this is brilliant. And I'll admit, most of your work doesn't seem to scream out to me, but this one has something in it that... I'm not sure, it's like a hook, like the intro to the song "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Sprinfield, it just holds you! "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, This is a great poem keep up the great work this was fantastic. -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Frac. very nice poem here. Some of it kind of threw me off but the bulk of it was understandable and very pleasing to read. You are such a talented writer and I challenge you to a sword fight.....haha Hope to see you post more! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"Howling a haunting cry in vain Great chasms fill'd with empty lost hate." This is great! I loved it... wonderful job. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yeah... this was pretty good. The last line was VERY well done. I thought it was the highlight of the poem, and you probably did that on purpose. And about what Javier said? *draws a sword* I'll take the winner. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
*click* there we go. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I've noticed that you write a lot about war or destruction hmmmmm....any particular reason why? I'd like to see you write about happiness thanks for the read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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